. . .
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Should I decide it's true
That you would leave if given half the chance to go and
I'd be left here on my own
To find myself in bed
Wishing everything that changed would be the same
The room still looks like you
It's a mess and all the pictures on the shelf are
Dusted off by someone else
To keep me company
I haven't told her that your thought still lingers on
Everyday's another chance to bury my regret
Everyday's another chance to make it but I can't
But I can't, but I can't, but I can't, but I can't
I saw you on my phone
On a contact list that isn't up to date
Would have changed it with more time
That I require to
Rid my mind of all the freckles on your face
And reconcile to what?
The ring I bought you is buried deep within the ground
Behind the swing where we first met
And memory only serves
To remind of all the bruises you forgave
Everyday's another chance to bury my regret
Everyday's another chance to make it but I can't
But I can't, but I can't, but I can't, but I can't
Should I decide it's true
That you'd return if given half the chance to come
But it's not true
But it's not true, but it's not true
But it's not true, but it's not true
But it's not true, but it's not true
But it's not true, but it's not true
But it's not true, but it's not true
But it's not true, but it's not true
. . .
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If I had known you better I could probably get my money back
From that old preacher and his organist who said she knew my dad
When we were younger and you promised me that you would wear my ring
But you were 14 years behind the time when you can mean such things
But I will hold on with my open hands
But I will hold on with my open hands
And I suppose I should decide what I can do with all your clothes
And closets full of all the places you and I will never go
Is it misguided that I can recall the day you left my bed
And asked your mom and dad if maybe you could stay with them instead
But I will hold on with my open hands
But I will hold on with my open hands
. . .
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Today i saw my father standing in the graveyard
looking very somber looking for his mom
when he finally found her he said that it was different
everything is different nothing's really changed
my brother would remember sitting in the hallway
waiting for my father both of us were scared
when the doorknob turned we took off for the stairway
looking for some cover trying to get away
a guide dog had to serve the role that you would not let
the mother of your children every really play
the office was a dungeon where you hid your fears of
what would really happen if no one ever came
i wonder if you blamed yourself for when she left you
by closing up the garage door and turning on the car
your father must have lost it your sister couldn't help you
but dad if you were lonely you had no where to turn
of father can't you see the pieces that have fallen on the ground
when you and mom decided nothing could be saved inside this house
everything has changed
everything has changed
last night i had a dream that i was in the graveyard
looking at my father buried in the ground
i'd swear that i could hear him tell me he was sorry
he told me he was sorry and everything has changed
. . .
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She's not the one I would choose if I was 17
At least if I had one more chance to
please find a way to let me go my way
and you can do the same if there's still time.
The door to the bedroom doesn't close as tight
As you've made your heart to keep me out
And why would I risk another honeymoon
Considering the first one didn't take
I know you'll leave me by myself
I know you'll leave me by myself
Oh we'll attend to me when I grow old
You'll be raising someone else's kids
And I don't suppose you'd think about a trade
The years that we both wasted for your health
I know you'll leave me by myself
I know you'll leave me by myself.
If you sign the papers when I'm not around
Try for now to use your maiden name
And don't find someone who treats you like I did
You deserve a better man than me
I know you'll leave me by myself
I know you'll leave me by myself
. . .
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There are words inside my bedroom
scribbled all across the wall
saying something bout the way that
you won't talk to us at all
and i don't believe your protest
that you swear you didn't know
how to even change a diaper
or to teach me how to throw
please don't go
please don't go
there were words you told my brother
how you never had the choice
to decide if you would father
two rambunctious little boys
please don't go
please don't go
now we're stuck in this together
and i don't think i can run
from the ties that you have started
from the sins that we've become
. . .
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Fourteen years is all you made it
till forgiveness was frustrated
I was sorry you missed Christmas
do you think that you'll still miss us
i was angry when you left us
and it showed up on my mattress
and i told myself it's better
if we only talk in letters
you broke my heart
you broke my heart
did you think about my mother
when you shared the same bed cover
did you wonder if it changed her
when your sons became your stranger
when will you admit your lonely
since we split apart the family
all the pictures are updated
all of us are separated
you broke my heart
you broke my heart
you broke my heart
i don't feel it anymore
you broke my heart
I don't feel it anymore
you broke my ...
. . .
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This is my last chance to ever make it right
before they turn out every single light
and figure out that this is not my home
my mother warned me of people that would take advantage of my money and my grace
but she forgot to tell me i'm the same
and i'm the one to blame
and i was born to lay it on your back
cause i have chosen the sadness that you lack
but you won't let me back into your heart
oh god my bed is empty
oh god my bed is empty
and jesus told me that you would be okay if i began to go out on some dates
and find myself a body for my bed
and all your stories filled with cavious caveats
about the past you told me you forgot
but hold on tightly when no one is around
i'm terrified for the time you were gone
and how we both(?) intend to linger on
to keep me company at least just for a while
oh god my bed is empty
oh god my bed is empty
oh god my bed is empty
. . .
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I burned every single letter after your phone call
And I returned every sweater you bought me from the mall
And the tattered pictures I've kept deep inside my wall
Let me know that I might not be over you at all
I was lost when I first met you looking for a chair
But the smile brought me closer couldn't break my stare
But I only had one night to keep you for myself
But you were made for something better, bigger than my hell
I will never let you go
I will never let you go
If you get away but find me standing there
I will never let you go
There's a suitcase where your bag is sewed up from the past
And it haunts you like the ghost that's shackled to your back
And I don't know how to help you stomach all the grief
That I see in his reflection showing on your face
I will never let you go
I will never let you go
If you get away but find me standing there
I will never let you go
. . .
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I would sell you for a box of tissues
if i saw my mother crying or to wipe her lipstick off
she had never told me i should go to bed
i would find a way to place everything you did
if i meant that i could feel as guilty about the kids
the braces that you paid for with your grandma's ring, so they could sing
i should probably tell you that i'm sorry i was wrong
when i gave my word that i'd be here for very long
i proposed before i really loved you for yourself
and it's breaking up my heart
(i don't love you anymore)
and it's breaking up my heart
(i don't love you anymore)
you were kind enough to let me back into the house
after all the things i said when you had thrown me out
the water that you left for me when i got warm
i forgot to clean out the closet next to where we slept
the short sleeve shirts i wore on friday's chest
let the two boys pick from what is left
and it's breaking up my heart
and it's breaking up my heart
and it's breaking up my heart
(i don't love you anymore)
and it's breaking up my heart
(i don't love you anymore)
. . .
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She is like the water where I clean my baby
Floating from the front into the back to keep me
warm enough to cover me from getting chilly
Cool enough to hide me from the heat
She is like a splinter that I caught in my toe
running from the dog that chases me
sharp enough to teach a lesson that I must learn
soft enough to never make me bleed
And I will find you there
And I will mend your heart
And I will find you there
And I will mend your heart
She is like a cigarette inside an ashtray
Nothing but a fire sets her free
Filling up my lungs until my body needs her
holding on so I can never breathe
She is like a gravestone sitting in a church yard
Crooked from the ground in which she sleeps
Whispering our name until I go to meet her
Underneath the ground she finds her peace
And I will find you there
And I will mend your heart
And I will find you there
And I will mend... your heart
. . .
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Last night we watched our favorite tv shows
you packed my lunch for wednesday's shift, i laid out my clothes
i took my time to say goodnight before you closed your eyes
the hallway light reveals how you were taking up my side
that dress you wore is faded to the ivory that remains
the frame of wedding pictures looks ten years out of date
the toaster's been replaced since we even thanked them for the thought
the last time that we kissed, i saw you checking out the clock
what about now she says to herself and what about now?
what about now she says to herself, she says to herself.
the council of the wise can be the only way you go
(aunt gina cleansed)? in alcohol will somehow let us know
your mom and dad were right to tell us maybe we should wait
yet ten years down the road it seems maybe it's too late
what about now she says to herself and what about now?
what about now she says to herself she says to herself
goodnight
goodnight
i wish you'd stay
i wish you'd stay
. . .
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My children are born
But I'm still half afraid
They'll turn out like me and this mess I've made
This marriage I've taken for granted for so long
That trip that I took to the school back in March
You stayed with your sister
That girl that I told you was only a friend
Turns out that I kissed her
My sister's a wreck
She has been for years
She fought with her father
I wonder if he knows she'll be alright
Because God can fix her.
I know I can't be forgiven
Why would I try?
I know I can't be forgiven
Why waste my time?
That guy that you talked to over the phone
You said you were lonely
I gave you permission to call his part
If you cook for me only
I left all my shirts in the closet upstairs
Right next to the bathroom
I wonder if you could make sure they were clean
Before you return them
I know I can't be forgiven
Why would I try?
I know I can't be forgiven
Why waste my time?
Because I can't find my way home
And I don't know where to go
. . .
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I still love you after all
i still love you after all
i still love you after all
i still love you after all
i still want you after all
i still want you after all
i still want you after all
i still want you after all
will you keep me after all
will you keep me after all
will you keep me after all
will you keep me after all
please don't leave me after all
please don't leave me after all
please don't leave me after all
please don't leave me after all
for better or worse after all
sickness and health after all
till death do us part after all
till death do us part
for better or worse (after all) after all
sickness and health (after all) after all
till death do us part (after all) after all
till death do us part
for better or worse (after all) after all
sickness and health (after all)
i still love you after all
till death do us part (after all)
i still love you after all
till death do us part
i still love, i still love
after all
after all
after all
. . .
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