Альбом Will Smith

Ladies and gentleman you are about to enter the twilight zone

I was in a club, one friday
A lovely lady comes walking my way
She walked up and she said hello
I said hi, my names Joe
I was lyin', so was she
She said her name was Donny,
But her shirt said Marie.
She said you get to know me,
you'll never forget me
I said why, then she bit m.

Ouch!
That didn't hurt.
Kinda creepy
but she ripped my shirt.
She poisoned me I went to sleep.
Woke up at her house,
At the back of a jeep.
A Blazer, '89
Tinted windows,
I wish it was mine.
Oh, here it is,
But where are my keys?
There they are in the ignition.

I'm at her house.
It's a Tepee.
No, it's a cabin
No a skyscrapper.
No, its an igloo.
A shack.
Forget it, I'll go around back.
It's a castle, with a moat
How I get Across...Boat.

Shooo...I hate that sound.

I went inside,
Looked right, looked left.
There she is.
Oh, no Thats Jeff.
He's invisible.
I went downstairs.
It's a loft.
No, it's a dungeon!
There she is, doing aerobics.
No, yoga.
No, karate.

(You killed my teacher)
But what a body!

No, he wasn't there.
I'm tellin you I saw him
No, really I saw him
He was playing checkers.
No, Nintendo
Ok, I'm lying

There she is,
Watching T.V.
All My Children.
No, thats Cosby.
No, Speed Racer.
Shaft.
No, thats Kimba
My fault...the T.V.'s off.

There she is, what a doll.
No, that's Chucky from Child's play!
I kissed her,
And she told me this is home...
I had entered a dimension Called The Twilight Zone....
Anything can happen.

I'm rough like sandpaper,
Hard like algebra.
You should be glad that I was nice,
And I allowed ya to
Step on stage.
To kick your ryhmes off.
I tried to be nice,
But you mistook that for softness.
Now it's over' to hell with your opinion!
What I say goes from now on,
This is my dominion!
I dare any rapper to step on stage
Cause if you do you'll feel the force of my rage
I'm on a rampage psyche just kiddin
Jeff wanted to do that
But I didn't
I thought that it would make the record dumb
I guess I wasn't wrong

Mary had a little lamb
Her fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that mary went so did humpty dumpty
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down,
And broke his crown
Hickory, dickory, dock

Got to use the bathroom now,
psyche, I was drafted.

hey...hey Leroy...Leroy yeah did you hear about that boy Mike Tyson?
Mike...Mike Tyson he's the boy that played football from Montreal ain't he?
no no you old coop, he a...he a boxer man
yeah let me tell ya I went to his fight a couple months ago.
I seen him hit this boy, and he hit the boy so hard
his head flew off into the eigtheenth row (laughing)
they had to get his head out of the eighteenth row

[Prince & Jeff] I was in Jeff's crib one night about eight
and we were watchin'a couple of Mike Tyson fight tapes
Jeff was like... man, you see how hard Mike's punchin'?
come on Jeff the other guy was just lungin'
left, right, left, right, another K.O. i
f that was me I'd a been ok though
the very next day I gave Russell a ring
with J.L. and Omar we all called Don King
I said 'yeah, Don I got a problem
tell 'em Prince 'yeah what's up?
what you sayin? you tryin' to solve 'em?'
'forget the small talk let's get to the nitty gritty'
'me and Mike, two months, Trump, Atlantic City'
yo, you got this you gonna bust dude up
yeah, you can be my trainer word up?
I'm rough like a freight train smooth like ice and
yo Jeff, straight up, I think I can beat Mike Tyson
man, you can beat him, you can beat him yo man,
word up yo I put on a couple of pounds man we can do this you can do it
Newspaper boy: extra, extra read all about it
Fresh Prince challenges Iron Mike Tyson to a fight (laughing) ah he's crazy
ain't that the boy who knocked the guy's head in the fifthteen row?
hey Leroy, you read the paper? that boy done lost his mind
[Prince, Barber] there was press conference to see what training I was doing
before then I had never heard reporters booing
cameras flashing I was in the middle
I didn't wanna look dumb so I exagerrated a little
I said uh I been training 2o hours a day lifting big old cars
and big bails of hay (that's what he's doin')
and I run 10,000 miles every morning thinkin' about Mike and
my moment of glory (tell 'em more)
I drink water 20 gallons a pop and I can throw a Volkswagon
a whole half block (he can do it too)
and 4 million sit ups...in a minute.... ..I ain't lying I did it (he done it)
the general public thought I was a fool
I was gettin' dissed but I guess that was cool
well gettin' dissed is never good
but I was even gettin' dissed in my old nieghborhood
I was at the corner at the top of my block there was a couple
of people standing outside of the barber shop
it was Larwence, my barber, and Franny he yelled out hey, Prince, you can win!
I said 'really?' and I stopped to chat
you could beat him man, if you hit him wit a bat ha ha...you
gon' get whipped but can I have your shoes when he break your neck?
everybody was laughin' out loud I thought at least my own Grandma would be proud
I went to her house and snuck in to surpise her I heard her
on the phone (a thousand bucks on Tyson)

[Prince, Ring Announcer] it's fight day and man am I hyped
boy I can't wait to see Mike
boy I'm hyped ready to be my thing Trump Castle Casino
in this corner...weighing in at a mere 165 pounds, the
Lighting Rodent, the Fresh Prince! (booing)
and in this corner... the heavyweight champion of the world...
Iron Mike Tyson (cheering)
I came out hustling sliding and grabbing slippin' and dippin' hustlin' and jabbin'
for a second I looked good out there but then Mike brought to
reality my worst nightmare
one punch, that's all it took (oooh) he hit me in my ribs and my insides shook
now how can I say this and be a little discreet let's just say
that my bowels released
I called timeout and went back to my corner
said to my coach 'ain't no way I'm goin' the hell back out
there, man you can't forget it'
my body's like a punchin' bag and Mike is gonna (hit it)
they tried to make me go meet my doom but I sucker
punched my coach and hauled to my dressing room
the next day the headline in the town 'Fresh Prince breaks
camp, Tyson wins first round'
some fool asked why I ran away I said 'a good run is better
than a bad stand anyday'
my career is over as far as fightin' but I don't know what
made me think I can beat Mike Tyson
2 old men: hey Leroy! yeah did you see the fight?
did you see the fight?
the..the..the football player?
no the boxer, come on man I was at the fight last night I paid
four hundred and seventy fo' thousand dollars for my ticket
right... ah, you weren't at no fight I seen you around here
last night ..and the boy..the boy ran out the ring you always
lying I ain't lying... you lie to your grandkids.. ..I seen
it... ...you been lying ever since you was a little kid ...Mike
Tyson punched the boy in his ribs, and his leg fell off his leg
fell off and it fell over... ...you always lying ...and it knocked
the HBO camerman's camera fell out his hand I said, god
damn, I couldn't beleive it Leroy you shoulda been
there...you definetly shoulda been there ...I was right next to
you playin' checkers

(This is how it goes)

Give me your attention, stop what you're doin and listen up
Because my partner in rhyme is about to tear it up
Jeff, is if someone said that your beats don't excite
And that your cuts were wack, what would you say (Yeah, right!)
Jeff's about to give an incredible display
And unequivocally prove that he's the best DJ
His name is Jazzy Jeff and he's preparin to shake and make you move
To this long and strong theme song, Jazzy's Groove

And it'll (make em clap to this)

(Make em clap to this)
Hey yo, Jeff
(Come on, yeah)
And it'll (make em clap to this)
And it'll (make em clap to this)
(Come on, yeah)

You know, a lot of deejays, they're just short pieces of statues
My deejay's swift and exciting and coming at you
To other deejays Jeff is just too much
He doesn't use the line switch as a transform crutch
Never missin beats, always on time with the rhyme
You know the scratches are fine when intertwined with a bass line
Live in concert, Jeff is never Memorex
You don't believe he's def check the flex

[ Jeff cuts up ]
(Don't stop to the rhythm, cause I..)

I could talk forever, but still never explain
Why deejays flee when they hear Jeff's name
Jeff is number one, even though he just begun
Rulin hip-hop as if he was Attila the Hun
We make records, it all adds up a kaleidoscope
We work hard, so people can't deny that it's dope
Some music makes you shake, some makes you move
(Now here's what I want y'all to do...)
This beat is dope and it's called Jazzy's Groove

(Come on, yeah)
(Come on, yeah)
(Now here's what I want y'all to do)
(Breakdown)

Music has a tendency, a way of makin you feel it
It's been a secret and Jeff is about to reveal it
He'll get you hype, no DJ as def as Jeff is
He makes you smile and bow while he's flexin
He's a magician of sorts, it's kind of a sport
Jeff houses the wheels like Michael Jordan the courts
Ask who's the best and people all say that Jeffrey is
Here's a math lesson, so you can all see how def he is
(1) plus (1) is (2)
(Once again back its the incredible)
And (2) plus (1) is (3)
(The music just turns me on)
And (2) plus (2) is (4)
(Play it on the radio)
And (1) plus (2) is (3
(Hit it!)
(Breakdown)

Look, it's simple, just admit it
Jeff is the deffest, you wanted a battle, forget it
You're a fool, you're slippin, you're looney, you're crazy
No ifs, no ands it be just your butt, baby
The music is dope, don't fight it, just give in
Hey yo Jeff, man, tell em why you did it
(I made the beat hype, but still kinda smooth)
And it's dope, right (For sure)
Jazzy's Groove

Aw man!
Put that ol' dumb horn down
Hey, Jazzy
Jazzy
Show this boy what some real music 'posed to sound like
He-he-ha!
1-2-3-4

Now that's a record!
Now that's a record!
Go Jazzy, go Jazzy, go

I want to be remembered for the songs that I sing
Not only for the humour, but for the knowledge I bring
To broaden the horizons of others is why I rap this
Enlightening minds with my lyrical tactics
In life everything ain't always what it seems
But people are enchanted by things that gleam
You know, bright fancy cars, big yachts and mansions
On the beaches of Aruba with a girlie romancin
Now I'm about to tell you a very interesting fable
More fun than when you first got cable
The moral to be learned from this story to be told
Is that everything that glitters ain't always gold

On July the 11th I was sittin at home
Talkin to my girlfriend Geena on the telephone
Flippin through the newspaper checkin the news
When I saw an advertisement for a Carribean cruise
It said sunny skies and romantic nights
On an incredible ship and I got hype
It said it's like the Love Boat baskin in the sun
Promisin fun for you and for everyone
I said that's dope baby you're down
She said yeah we could leave right now
The very next day I put the check in the mail
And one week later we were ready to sail
The brochure said that the boat was large
But it was nothin but a broken-down barnacle barge!
And if it wasn't for my girlfriend, I wouldn'ta went
Because the captain was a cross-eyed hunchback with a limp
The cruise was paid for and the food was free
So I said what the hell and set out to sea
It didn't take long to notice something was wrong
The ship was a mess and we were the only ones on it
I didn't wanna panic, so I chilled for a while
Till the captain pulled up on what we thought was a deserted isle
We looked on to the beach and almost went bezerk
We saw 300 natives with spears and grass skirts!
The said, "Hung-a-dung-a-digi-dung-da-do"
I said, "Hey baby, I guess that means get off the boat"
Their chief said they needed a human sacrifice
I said, "Well, just take my girl - he-he - psyche"
I was jokin, but things got serious
Their leader came out and he was furious
He got in my face and his breath was the worst
I said, "Hey baby, you got some mints in your purse?"
His breath was stinkin with dooky brown teeth
And two big crusty ashy hairy feet
The worst thing, he had no toenail on his toes
And a big Teradactyl bird bone in his nose
I tried to reason with him, he wasn't with it
He said, "Tenga-shanko," that meant 'forget it'
He said, "Gunga-shang-tang-da-bong-da-boo"
That meant 'tonight we're having Fresh Prince stew'
Then I saw it - no, it's not
The big Indiana Jones people cooking pot!
I wanted to fight em, but there was no way to beat em
I thought to myself, 'Where's Tarzan when you need him?'
Just as they were contemplatin cookin us up
We had a major stroke of luck, a Navy ship pulled up
The troops came off and they got us out of the pot
And I said to the chief, "Yo, I get with ya, hops!"
The guy that rescued us said, "I hate to tell you
The captain of your ship, he had just escaped from Belview
We've been following him and finally we got him
We're sorry, there's no way that you can possibly get a refund"
A thousand dollars and a weekend down the drain
But a lesson well learned, so let me explain
There's a very important message that needs to be told
It's that everything that glitters ain't always gold

Hello?
Yeah, I talked to him
Whoa, whoa..
Nah, you ain't got to explain nothin to me
See, you tried to play my man and end up playin yourself
Later for you
Nah, matter of fact later for you
And your golddiggin girlfriend you put me down with)

(Thought I was a donut)
(Tried to glaze me)
(Thought I was a donut)
(Thought I was a donut, you tried to glaze me)

This story that I'm about to tell ya
Is all about this girl named Delia
Five foot seven a Gucci queen
With gold all over that flowed like a stream
I met her in a club on a Saturday night
The girl's jeans were tight and I got hype
I thought about talkin to this little miss
But I kept seen guy after guy gettin dissed
Every guy that cracked got flagged
But somethin kept sayin (you) (you) (you bad)
I walked up and asked the girl to take a ride
I whispered in her ear, said, "My car's outside"
At first she laughed and said, "Nah, not yet"
Then I told her it's a 'Vette and she said "bet"
"Under one condition: you gotta let me drive it"
She kissed me on the lips and I said (you got it)

(You got it)

Oh what sweet music she and I made
Only I was gettin dissed while she was gettin paid
Everything that I owned, she took it
All the way down to my foodstamp booklets
I was contemplatin her bein my wife and
All she was tryin to do was siphin
Every single dime that she could extort
She was Jane the Ripper, and she couldn't be caught
My friends tried to tell me but I stood behind her
(The girl ain't nothin but a 49er)
They tried to tell me but I couldn't be told
Because her beauty was a shovel that was diggin for gold
Diamonds and furs, I spent all I had
And took her shoppin every day at Sack's 5th ave
Visa, Mastercard and even Discover
She told me this is the way that I can show her I love her
My friends tried talkin to me, they tried stoppin me
(If she had a gun they'd arrest her for robbery!)
I knew she was playin me for every dime
But I loved when people said (Homes, your girl is fine)
But then one day, yo, I got wise
I found out she was messin with a couple of guys
She told me that she loved me but I guess she forgot it
Oh, you wanna play hardball, huh (You got it)

(You got it)

The final night that I caught this girlie
I was out of town and I came home early
I caught her in a club kissin some guy Fred
Stormed up right behind her, grabbed her and I said
Yo Delia What's up baby
Come on you got to be crazy
That's your cousin you think I'm a nut
What kinda cousin would you let put his hand on your butt
Na girl, you done got out of hand
And it's about to seem like I'm the repo man
You vacuumed all of my funds like a rug
But you stretched the cord too far you pulled the plug
Let's what come on it's too late to talk
It's like monopoly and I bought you the Boardwalk
But tomorrow you'll wake up and take a look
And think the stockmarket crashed on your pocketbook
But it's over now I want everything
All the way from Louis Vuiton bags to earrings
Especially the solid gold earring noodles
And the diamond watch, the whole kit and kaboodle
Don't tell me I'm trippin
Oh, you got amnesia now you're forgettin
Who did what for who I gave my all to you
I can't seem to see why you did wrong to me
I finally figured out what you're about
But it's the bottom of the ninth two strikes and two outs
You can go make a sucker of another fellow
It's 12:01 let's give it up Cinderella
I ain't goin for it, stop cryin
Like Ms. Melody said I ain't buyin it
Game over girl you finished clockin
You wanted your walking papers (You got it)

(You got it)
(Thought I was a donut)
(Tried to glaze me)

(Get down)

I was cruisin down the avenue early one Friday
When I saw what I thought was a lady walkin my way
I turned my back to mama can I blast
And I said hmm excuse me and she walked past
She was about five foot six or maybe six and a half
With a body like a goddess, man, this girl was bad!
Tight leather pants that fit like a drum
And two big - yeah well, she had some
Anyway from behind she was fine
But when she turned around, her mustache was bigger than mine
At first I laughed, cause yo, to me that was funny
But the laughter ceased when she said hey honey
At first I was confused, I was somewhat spell-bound
My mouth wide open and my chin on the ground
And then it hit me, like a bolt from the sky
I thought: hold up - wait - this girl is a guy
I tried to get away, I said, Well, never mind
Maybe I'll see you some other time
But then he grabbed me by my arm and told me I couldn't leave
And said, Hey boy, you look mighty cute in them jeans
This had to be the most embarrassing thing in the world
My whole neighbourhood was watching me get beat up by a girl
And when my homeboys came, they didn't let me explain
They said prince, you're a sucker, you should be ashamed
My pride was busted right along with my eye
Cause my homeboys didn't realize that this girl was a guy
And in retrospect I had to laugh
I can't believe I didn't notice that this girlie had a mustache

(get down)

I remember last year, the day was October 5th
And my family went away on a weekend ski trip
And they left $100 and a note by the phone
That said don't have any company till we get home
No company I'm 18 They must be jokin!
And by 10 my crib was smokin
All of my friends with their hands in the air
Screaming (party over here party over there)
The party was jammin till at least about 5
And as my friends were leaving, they were like Homes, it was live
I thought the party was over, but really was just beginning
I turned around I thought I was dreamin, I saw four women
Dressed in red leather, tight to their booties
I gestured with my index finger come here, cuties
I tried to be chill, I didn't wanna scare em
I said Hi my name's the Prince they said Hi Prince, wheres your harem
I didn't waste time, I started shooting the gift
I said Y'all the type of girls I'd like to spend some time with
I walked upstair, my adrenaline pumpin
Till one hit me in the head with a lamp or somethin
The next thing I remember is wakin up nearly dead
With another Fred Flintstone lump on my head
Of course I was mad, this type of thing can burn at you
They tied me up and they were stealin my furniture
I said Yo sweetheart, what's wrong with you
What kind of stuff is this for a nice girl like you to do?"
She turned around and smiled and laughed
And that's the way that I noticed that the girlie had a mustache
Not four girls, four guys
They were in disguise it was a set up all the time
I made a complete fool of myself that day
My parents were pullin up just as the u-haul truck was pullin away
They walked in, looked like they seen a ghost
There I was, gagged and bound and tied to the bed post
My pop walked in and asked a brilliant question
Son, where's the furniture and why is your room so messy
Obviously Sherlock Holmes had been arrived
I said What do you think, dad, maybe we were robbed
I'm tied up, nothing's in one piece
Let's discuss the facts later, mom, please call the police
I wanted to have a party, I thought I was clever
My pop told me I was on punishment forever!
And in retrospect I had to laugh
I can't believe I didn't notice that the girlie had a mustache

(get down)

Now brothers and sisters
There comes a time in your life you've got to get up and get busy
Can I get a witness?
(Yes, brother, yes!)
Now I don't know if you're prepared to embark upon this journey
But the time is running out
Brother Jazzy, break it down


Liggedy-ladies and gentlemen, hello, and how are you doin all?
Now there's a problem that we really have got to solve
In our society there's a big mess
People are having entirely too much stress
Now me and Jeff, yo, we've been workin on
A way to ease your everyday burdens of
Work and school, because we thought that we should
Make a record that makes people feel good
This is a remedy, simple and basic
You work too hard, come on, face it
You gotta treat yourself, you deserve it
Dance like a wild person, come on, you earned it
Young and old and old and young
Relax, come on, cool out, come and get some
You gotta let yourself go get loose, it's
Cool - dance to the music


TGIF this beat is def
Can I get a witness, Jeff? (Yes)
Are you ready to start things off yet?
Aight bet
Clap your hands and dance, come on, let's do this
Here is a hip-hop track with a new twist
Designed to ignite ya subliminal dance fuse
And even if you can't dance, you can't lose!
It's for everybody, you included
We hooked up a beat and a rhyme and eq'ed it
We put it on a tape and took it to wax
And then we - yo Jeff, where's my beat at?
Oh, there it is, back to the story line
The music and rhymin designed to make you have a (good time)
At the party, or wherever you hear it pumpin
Get up and twist or breakdance or shake somethin
Yo man, this groove is all of that!
And it's different from anything we've done, in fact
I might even go as far as to say
This cut shines bright on the darkest day
And sometimes you really need some light
Like when your teacher or boss ain't actin right
This will quench your thirst to chill, it hits the spot
Give em a taste, yo Jeff, let the beat rock

Now Brother Jazzy
Please enlighten us with a bassline
And for all the people assembled before us
Brother Jazzy, scratch

We're at the top, not the bottom or the middle
We're the freshest, the deffest, the best, Jeff, cut it up a little

(Oh, I get it, you wanna dance!)

oh the time is now to get up and dance and move
And clap and jump and jam and feel the groove
I want you wigglin and jigglin and stompin and shakin
And showin your approval for the records me and Jeff are makin
We got a brand new album out
And dancin and shakin and movin is what it's all about
We want everybody to get busy
You're not down with the rap then get with it
This is a new age, history turned a new page
They said that we would decay and I say who do they
Think they're dealing with, a couple of amateurs?
I'm willin to bet to where this jam hits
At your job and at your school dance and also on the radio
Winter inside the house, summer on the patio
Let me get out of here before I lose it
But remember the motto, y'all: dance to the music

Now now
Ladies and gentlemen of the congregation
We realize you may not be in a position to get up and dance right now
So we'd like to ask of you, if you're in your car, honk your horn
Honk your horn to the rhythm
We'd like to ask, if you're behind the desk at your job
We'd like you to tap your pen and pencil to the rhythm
If you're walkin down the street
You can be a little discreet
And snap your fingers to the beat
But if you are in a position
To get up and dance
We'd like to ask you to wiggle and jiggle and everything you got
And get involved with it
This has been the Reverend signin off
Signin off
Signin off

Yo jeff whats up holmes
Yo Whats up prince
Yo whats up man
Ay wheres my car at
Wheres your car why you asking me
No I parked my car right here your standing here wheres my car
I been ere for an hour and a half I ain't seen it
Come on man stop playing jeff wheres my car at
No I'm serious man it's not in my pocket I haven't seen your car
Jeff wheres my car I parked my car right here man
I don't know!

Now a joke is a joke and fun and games are chill
But this isn't funny this is straight up ill
Now there's a limit to humour and this is gone too far
I ain't laughing no more y'all now who stole my car
I don't know man

I don't know if y'all ever had a car stolen before
But it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the door
And you don't need a map or any kind of chart
That your standing in the spot where your car used to be parked
Now you know you parked your car their but yet you keep looking
Cause your mind didn't except yet that somebody took it
So your scratching your head and trying to get things clear and theres always some idiot who says
You sure you parked here
To call the police would be the move that's smart
But instead you keep looking where you know you didn't park
Searching for reasons like maybe tickets you owed
Something to justify that maybe it got towed
But not stolen naa never forget it
But then you ask yourself well where the hell is it
If there was a prize you'd win dummy of the year
Cause you looking somewhere else when you know you parked it here
So to never never land you find yourself strolling
And when you finally except that its stolen
You call the police and they come and say
That's the 437th car stolen today
As if that's something that he really needed to mention
Then they start asking you real dumb questions like
When's the last time that you saw it
You idiot right before they stole it
Now your mad this cop is talking to you
And somebody's in your car heading to kalamazoo
Officer fool or whoever you are can you please get off your butt and find who stole my car

I remember my first car never forget it
A candy red apple irub windows be tinted
Talk about fast like a rocket to drive
When from zero to 60 in like 5 point 5
And matching red rims but that wasn't enough
It had a ca phone for when I wanted to reach out and touch
An alpine stereo that straight up rocked
With 12 inch woofers you could hear for blocks
The first day I got it I was fronting real hard
I could hear people saying damn look at that car
I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it out
So I went to the spot where they usually hangin out
Just my luck nobody standing outside
I really didn't feel like parking my ride
So I honked my horn but nobody was coming
I said what the heck I ran inside and left it running
I was inside for 20 seconds that's all
I found my friends and said you gotta check this out y'all
But when we came back out the car wasn't there
Man you ain't buy nothing I did I swear
My friends went inside I was mad they didn't believe me
Now I'm standing outside at the spot my car used to be
It was hard to figure out what to do all alone
But then I got it call the car phone

Fresh princes car
Yo thief bring my car back now before I bust your
Hold up wait a minute pal
Seems like you kinda forgot the keys
I thought man he's right well bring it back please
Hello listen thief don't hang up
Then luckily jeff pulled up
I told him what had happened someone's stolen my car
I said come on jeff lets get him he cant be far
We rode around for about 20 minutes
When we were just about to say forget it
When I spotted him
I said jeff go get it
We pulled up behind him and man he jetted
He was driving all wild and fast like he was getting points for the stuff that he crashed
I called him on the car phone again and I said
Of course you realise when I catch you your dead
All through philly was a high speed chasin
Dude was playing around like he thought we was racing
A hundred miles an our and he lost control
And slammed my car into a telephone pole
I ran to the car I said man you okay
He said yeah so I punched him in the face
The cops came up as if it was my fault
They say me punch dude and charged me with assault
If his neck was closer I probably would have grabbed it
He told the cops that I said he could have it
I calmed down and they got things straight
I saw half my car in seventh street the other half in eighth
I wanna just jump in the ocean
My car looked like it was a leggo explosion
Why does life have to be so hard
Don't laugh next time it could be your car

Hello?
Yeah, this is Prince, whose this?
Yo, what's up baby, how you doin?
Oh, I'm tryin to see you on a personal tip
You know that, right?
Ah come on
You been tellin me that for years
You're a little bit older than me, you know?
You're 30 years old and I'm 20
Age ain't nothin but a number, baby
Hey look, I'm young but I'm real strong
Heh
Hey look, I know that, I know, I know
I can't sport you around in my Benzito
And take you out to dinner and be seen
You know
That's cool, though
I tell you what
I tell you what
Got sumthin that can remedy for this problem
This is what I want you to do
I want you to get a globe, right?
I want you to spin the globe, spin it hard baby
Pick anywhere in the world
And I'll take you there
We'll be together, alright?
You with that?

Greek mythological gods are inferior
Studs and playboys, come on, I'm superior
Any man can look and see where the curves are
It takes a real man to find where the nerves are
Women like huggin, kissin and caressing
And a slow undressing
Calm down, chill out, take your time, dude
Don't be all rough and fast like a monsoon
Women are soft and fragile, you know delicate
It's really not appealing to then when the fella gets
All worked up and rushes to the pinnacle
You might think so, but yo, they ain't with it though
Candlelight dinner, just you and her in a
Nice restaurant is always a winner
Then ah - if she is first rate and on the first date
She says no, be patient, don't push her, just wait
Because a woman is a gift to a man
They like you real hard but with a gentle hand
So get your act together cause if you're trippin up
If you're slippin up, then F.P. is pickin up
All of y'all slack man, cause what you're lackin
I fill up, so ain't no need to come back, man
Everything ain't always the way that it seems
I'm the Fresh Prince, baby doll, and I'm the man of your dreams

Yo, what's up
Yeah, this is Jeff
Yeah I heard you talked to Prince today huh
Yeah let me guess
He's young but strong
Yeah
I kind a figured that
Let me ask you a question
Did he kick the globe line on you?
Yeah I thought so
I heard that before too
Look, I'm not into geography
So I'm not gonna ask you to spin no globe and point to where you wanna go
Or spend no dollars or even do back-semis when I come in the room
Because I'm not into that
You know, all I'm asking for is 60 minutes of your time
And I can set the whole record straight
You know what I'm saying

I'm not trying to say nothing that's hard or complex
Or get you psyched with a pose or body flex
I win your loving with a paid vacation
You know I'm more into a intellectual stimulation
I make your mind feel good your body follows it
I pour loving in, your mind swallows it
I'm not dissing Prince, cause he's my friend
But boys'll be boys and men'll be men
Ladies, your battery's unstable
Jazzy Jeff got the world's best jumping cables
Fourteen thousand volts of pure intimacy
That's enticing to you
Yeah, it was meant to be
Don't debate the great flow of fate
Let he who's Jazzy have you concentrate
Think of me and you makin love as a team
I'm Jazzy Jeff baby doll, and I'm the man of your dreams


Yo Jeff, what up, hop
What's up, man
Hey, I heard that you was trying to talk to my girl
Man, what's up with that?
What, your girl
Yeah, my girl, I heard you heard you was trying to talk to my girl
What's up
Nah, it ain't even like that, you know
If you was kickin stronger game
She wouldn't have to call me
Stronger game
Yo, you was tryin push up on my girl
I wanna know what's up with that
Once again your girl
Yeah
I think you better get the record straight, man
Ah
You said my girl was pushing up on you
Ain't too much to be pushing up on!
I mean that's true, you know
But you know you kickin that 'spin the globe' and all of that crazy stuff
She ain't with that
Aight, aight, aight
We ain't even gotta go into this
Hey, I'm confident in myself
I'm sure you're confident in yourself
We'll let her decide
Yeah, you know
We can let her decide over a nice candlelight dinner at my spot
Cause that's where she gonna be tonight
Oh ha -dinner
You better hope she can make it to dinner after she had lunch with me
Oh yeah?
Yeah, word up
You lead it off I end it off
Yeah alright, homie
You better check yourself before you wreck yourself
Ooh, I'm scared, I'm scared

One one

Grand number
Grand numero
Court is now in session
Here ye here ye all listen close
To the man the myth the fresh the prince the utmost
I got a brain like a cup and rhymes I pour em spectrum to the astra dome to bore em
All the way to wembley fans are in a frenzy doing what I gotta do to make people remember me
Fast like flo jo crazy like cujo
Both I know and you know that I'm numero uno
My crew is numero

Order in the court prepare to cop the plea sucker
Judge jury bailiff their all me
Your on trial but you can't win
Cause I wrote the script you die in the end
So throw in the towel sign off just give it up
You tried to beat me in a game that I made up
And by the time you learnt the rules and tried to change your fate
Its too little too late sorry chump check mate
I'm in the room to do my thing
You wanna battle lets go just get your butt in the ring
10 seconds and its over I yell out who's next
I got you off guard with the lyrical suplex
I flex my lyrics so that you cant jinx
The ship that wont sink more popular than the sphynx
I'm a cardo will strong just like a dinosaur
You want more your not scared then what your running for
Cause I'm the incredible I do the impossible
I'm known to destro you and your crew if you follow the rules
I'm number one I'm the prince I'm the lyrical gun
What you're dissing me yo cut that out son
Cause I'm a weapon you heard what I said
And I should have a danger sign on my forehead
Cause I'm lethal fatal unstable
I'm nitro standing in front of a mic cable
Waiting to blow if there's a flick or a static
To ignite the fuse in the room you feel the doom
You tried to break but there's no escape
From the jaws of death you took the bait
Wait and if I say so you may go
It's like mother mayor
May It oh hell no
Go ahead and play me if you think I'm a joke
Just keep a brace around for when your neck gets broken
Cause your gambling just like craps and trump go ahead roll
Snake eyes you lost chump
That's the way its gonna be every time you try to go rhyme for rhyme
Your rhymes against my rhymes are dope
Your rhyming is weak your rhyming is wack
Wherever you got it from I suggest that you take it back
Hold up hobbes you say you made it up
Then cut your head off because your brain sucks
You should a stayed back
You should a laid back
You Should a prayed that
I didn't come back
But I came back
Remember way back
You used to say that
I wrote wack raps
Now your screaming out somebody tame that
Lyrical cyclops yo prince please stop
Somebody call the cops go get you some eye drops
Now heres a word for the wise don't go into the light
That's how I get ya cause I'm a poetic poltergeist
Now in ya mind is a vision that's driven by my decision to become an imaginational figment
Which gives you the freedom to explore and roll around with your mind and disappear when you look behind
You know I'm a gladiator and I really hate a sucker stepping to me that's a perpetrator
Really I'm the vader terminator that's like setting up do that and detonator
Go the phat was
You know that I'm def cause
I just transformed it like jeff does
Fast like flo jo crazy like kujo
Both I and you know that I'm numero uno
My crew is numero
Grand number
My crew is numero

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype

(How y'all feel out there?) --> Run
(oh yeah!)
(How y'all feel out there?) --> Run
(oh yeah!)
(How y'all feel out there?) --> Run
(oh yeah!)
(How y'all feel out there?) --> Run
(oh yeah!)

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
(Oh yeah!)

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
(Oh yeah!)

Too Damn Hype(get get get down)
Too Damn Hype
(Oh yeah!)

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
(get get get down)

Too Damn Hype
(How y'all feel out there?)
Too Damn Hype
(Oh yeah!)

In the place to be
The 1989 Too Damn Hype posse
What are we?
Too Damn Hype
I can't hear y'all
What we're?
Too Damn Hype
And alright
Now pump it up y'all
Too Damn Hype
And come on
Say what, say what?
Too Damn Hype
That's alright
Come on, we are, we are
Too Damn Hype
One and um
And two and um

Every Friday night we like to cool at the jams
And if the MC ain't workin, I smack the mic out his hands
If the beat ain't slammin and the deejay ain't def
I snatch the needle up off the record and send somebody to get Jeff
(Oh yeah!) when Jeff comes back with his Technics 12
We slap high fives and start cause it's time to raise hell
Bam is right beside me, people rushin the door
Charlie Mack in the back, O-wiz on the dancefloor
Now it's time for us to cold get loose
To show everybody out their that we got juice
Tonight's the night to set what ain't right right
And we'll fight if we gotta, because we're too damn hype

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype

Yes yes y'all, we are the Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype, now let's do this right

(Get down)

Too Damn Hype, let me explain what it means
It's the energy that you feel when my posse's on the scene
Well, it's not that we're rowdy, rude, raunchy or loud
But a match into nitro is like my crew into a crowd
I'ma take a minute or maybe I'll take two
To introduce the Too Damn type posse to you
I'ma start the introductions with the man on my left
The undisputed, the greatest alive, my friend and my DJ, he's Jazzy Jeff
On a motorcycle tis next guy fell
He's my personal manager, he's the Hammer J.L.
And when I got flack, you know he got my back
He punched a hole in the wall on the way and broke a mirror, he's Charlie Mack
Down by law at each and every show
Nicknamed Al Decent but for short Aldo
And when something goes wrong this is where we go
His favorite line is 'Excuse me, hops', he's Ronny Polo
You met the crew and you know where we live
You met Omar, Money and my man Wiz
The posse is here in full effect tonight
Like gas we'll ignite cause we're Too Damn Hype

Too Damn Hype(go go go)
Too Damn Hype(go go go)
Too Damn Hype(go go go)
Too Damn Hype(go go go)
Too Damn Hype(go go go)
Too Damn Hype (go go go)
Too Damn Hype (go go go)
Too Damn Hype (go go go)

(As we go a little somethin like this
Hit it!) --> Slick Rick

(Ah yeah!)

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
(Get down!)

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
(Get down!)

Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype
Too Damn Hype (go will go will) (come on come on)
(say what say what come on louder)

Here's where I end off, this is your funky send-off
You say we didn't rock it? There'll be a doom call
Man, my posse is worldwide known
All the way from Philly to the streets of Rome
Too Damn Hype led by Jeff and the Prince
You're spending dollars and cents
We're spending pounds and pence
And yens and rubels and marks, you think I'm playin
Man, my posse is large, get what I'm sayin?
You met the whole crew and you know who I am
And if you wanna be down with us, follow the program
Come to the shows and play this jam every night
That's how you get to be down with the Too Damn Hype

Too damn hype
Too damn hype
And all the people on the left are
Too damn hype
And everybody on the right is
Too damn hype
And everybody in the back is
Too damn hype
And everybody upfront is
Too damn hype
And alright, say what, say what
Too damn hype
Say it again, say it again, y'all
Too damn hype
Is that right, alright
Too damn hype
1989
Too damn hype
A little louder
Too damn hype
Come on say what...
Too damn hype
Pump it up a little, pump it up
Too damn hype
Pump it up a little
Pete is
Too damn hype
And Ni-Ni-Nigel is
Too damn hype
Cha-Cha-Charlie Mack
Too damn hype
And lare k snider is
Too damn hype
Hey yo, Jeff is
Too damn hype
Say what, say what, say what
Too damn hype
I can't hear y'all, what we're?
Too damn hype
And alright and alright
Too damn hype
And alright and there's a party and a fight
Too damn hype
And we're ripping it up
Too damn hype
And everybody come on
Too damn hype
Let's rap to the cut
Too damn hype
We got DJ Jazzy Jeff and my name is the Prince
Too damn hype
Rockin somethin funky, it goes like this
Too damn hype
It's called the 'Too Damn Hype' and you know how we're livin
Too damn hype
And we're livin like every day's Thanksgiving
Too damn hype
And we're livin it up in the place to be
Too damn hype
Yo, Jeff too damn and me
Haha
TDH

*hip-hop*
*chance to rock*
*Jeff waz on the beat box*

There was a party the other day
Around my way
They asked if me and Jeff would play
We said okay
We nipped out to get the hip hop apparatus
Came back with the posse in full effect status
While Jeff set up, I said "check one two y'all"
Everybody clap lets begin to ball
I was rapping a capella but I had to stop
Because chaos broke because Jeff waz on the beat box

Just cut it up Jeff
*hip-hop*
*chance to rock*
*Jeff waz on the beat box*

Did you know that parties were all the same when we came up
We had to rearrange and make a change
I remember how it was people standing still
The music was wack so they chose to get ill
People started breaking and fights would start to break out
This is the reason why some people make out
Hip-hop to be bad
Because of this behaviour
Then like a miracle two musical saviours
One with a microphone
The other with tables
Both up ready both willing and able
Burst on the scene like TNT
People said, "who can it be?"
Cant you see it's Jeff and me
We all blazed as musical scholars
Fast admiration ??? dollars
Couple of kids with a bright idea
Didn't want a 9 to 5 made rap careers
People tried to diss and make the egos shrink
But we believe in ourselves so to hell what they think
Moving like a freight train we can't be stopped
Especially when I'm on the microphone and Jeff is on the beat box

*hip-hop*
*chance to rock*
*Jeff waz on the beat box*

Yo cut it up Jeff
Scratched "hip-hop"

I know I talk about Jeff a whole hell of a lot
But straight up man you gotta give him his props
There's not many people who can do what he does
Marly Marl, Teddy Riley and herbie the luvebug
But other than that there's not many around
That can take that box and make it sound
Like anything that you could possibly want
Now heres a rhyme that sums it up
Jeff is diggy diggy d dope and
You DJ's out there keep hopin
His beat boxers will be broken
But you might as well just keep hopin
????
You think he can your mis-taken
Our records he is brizzeakin (breakin0
(Come on man you can mix)
Grammy winning musicians
His beat box is a kizz- kickin
And all my rhymes are hizz-hittin
The albums out so go get it
There ain't no way we st-stopping
We got the party rizzockin (rockin)
We got the crowd a hip hoppin
When Jeff is on the beat box

*chance to rock*
*Jeff waz on the beat box*

One more time scratch Jeff

*hip-hop*

Mmm lets see what's next on the agenda
That's right oh yeah I've got it I remember
I was discussin when Jeff's on stage
Yeah hands clap
Ya feet tap
Ya eardrums pulsate
Ya body will move
As ya flow with the groove
And you smile as he composes this new rap tune
When he's on the stage he can't be stopped
Specially when I'm on the microphone and Jeff is on the beat box