Альбом Weird Al Yankovic

I recall the time
They found those fossilized mosquitoes
And before long, they were cloning DNA
Now, I'm being chased by some
Irate velociraptors, well, believe me,
This has been one lousy day

Jurrasic park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it's kinda eerie
But this proves my Chaos Theory
And I don't think I'll be coming back again
Oh noooo!

I cannot approve of this attraction
'Cause getting disembowled
Always makes me kinda mad
A huge Tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer
Well I suppose that proves
They're really not all bad.

Jurrasic park is frightning in the dark
all the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone let T-rex out of his pen.
I'm afraid those things will harm me
Cause they sure don't act like Barney
And they think that I'm their dinner
Not their friend
Oh nooo!

**Tortured screams**

Jurrasic park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
What a crummy weekend this has been.
Well, this sure ain't no E-ticket
Think I'll tell them where to stick it
'Cause I'm never coming back this way, again!
Oh nooo!!! whoooaahh nooooo!

Sometimes I feel
Like I need a vacation
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna go
To the city of cavemen
The city of Bedrock
I'd be a Flintstone
Now I'll tell you why....

Well I've got I've got a woman named Wilma
Well I've got I've got a baby named Pebbles
Well I've got I've got a doggy named Dino
We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino

Well I've got a little buddy, Barney Rubble
Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble
He's a midget but he makes a lot of trouble
Does'nt like to shave, he got caveman stubble

Me and Barney, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
Lodge brothers, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
There's a handshake everybody gotta know
How come Grand Poo-Bah always gotta run the whole show?

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
I get by on all my prehistoric knowhow

Betty and Barney got a baby named Bamm-Bamm
Little Pebbles is his number one fan
He's the strongest toddler in the whole land
Tear your arm off if he shake-es your hand

Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now
Gonna take my family out to eat now
Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can't be beat now
Made from brontosaurus baby, not moo-cow

Wanna chill with a sabre-toothed tiger
Wear a loincloth, natural fiber
Be the first Rolling Stone subscriber
Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Don't know what it means but I say it anyhow

Lucky me, workin' down in the gravel pit
Movin' rocks, on a big dinosaur I sit
Mr. Slate gets mad and he throws a fit
Pull the birdie's tail, everybody knows its time to quit

Realize I'm livin' in the Stone Age
No fax, no cellular phone-Age
Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-Age
Liftin' heavy boulders every day for my wage

Barney Rubble, laugin' like a hyena
Barney Rubble, what a little wiener
Where's Wilma? Anybody seen her?
Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now

Risin' above the city, blocking out the noonday sun
It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone
I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block
What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in stock
And the neighbors are just green
They say, "That's the biggest screen we've ever seen!"

It's Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everbody come and see(Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)

That's Frank's remote control, you can look, but don't touch it, please
'Cause Frank's the one in charge and he decides what everybody sees
The picture's crystal clear and everything is magnified
Robert DeNiro's mole has got to be ten feet wide
Everybody in the town
Can hear those 90,000 watts of Dolby sound
And I'm mighty proud to say
Now I can watch "The Simpsons" from thirty blocks away

On Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)

I'm gonna get one of my own real soon
It's like having a drive-in movie in your own living room
Whoa, hey now... hey now na na na now
Hey now... hey now na na now

Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Got a two year warranty on parts and labor
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV

You can torture me, with Donnie and Marie
You can play some Barry Manilow
Or you could play some schlock
Like New Kids on the Block
Or any Villiage People song you know.

Or play Vanilla Ice, hey you can play him twice,
And you can play the Bee Gees any day,
But Mr. DJ please, I'm beggin' on my knees,
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray.

Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
The most annoying song i know
And if you play that song, that achy breaky song
I might blow up my radio
OOOOOOOOOOOO

You can clear the room by playin' Debbie Boone
Or crank your ABBA records until dawn
Or I can even hear Slim Whitman or Zampher
Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon
Or play some Tiffany, on A-Track or CD
Or scrape your finger nails accross a board,
Or tie me to a chair and kick me down the stairs
Just please don't play that stupid song no more

Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
You know I hate that song a bunch
And if you play that song, that nauseating song
It might just make me lose my lunch
OOOOOOOOOOOO

Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
I think it's driving me insane
Oh please don't play that song, that irritating song
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain

Don't play that song, that achy breaky song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song, that achy breaky song
I might blow up my radio
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA WHOOO!

Carbon monoxide
Making me choke
No A.C.
And the radio's broke
Cars backed up
Far as you can see
Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity
Oh, and just in case you're wondering
I'll tell you where I am
I'm right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck right here in the middle of this...

Traffic jam
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeway's one big parking lot
Traffic jam
My radiator's boiling hot
And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle)
Right here in the middle of a traffic jam

Trapped inside
My automobile
Cobweb's gowin'
On the steerin' wheel
Now, I'm no genius
But one thing I know
I shouldn't have had that bag of bran muffins
An hour and a half ago
Yeah, and if you need to find me
I'll tell you where I am
I'm right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck smack dab in the middle of this...

Traffic jam
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeway's one big parking lot
Traffic jam
Well, I thought we were movin' but I guess we're not
'Cause I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle)
Right here in the middle of a traffic jam

Stuck in the middle of a traffic jam
yeah yeah yeah yeah
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper...
Yay-hey!

There's a yuppie on a cellular phone
I'm gonna puke if I here any more
There's a motorcycle zoomin' by me
Watch what happens when I open my door
Now we're all goin' nowhere fast
Well, I guess that's perfectly clear
I left home five hours ago
And I can still see my house from here
So if anybody's tryin' to find me
Well, I'll tell you where I am
Right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck right here in the middle of this...

Traffic jam
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam
The freeway's one big parking lot
Traffic jam
Now my back teeth are floatin' and my nerves are shot
And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle)
Stuck right here in the middle of a traffic jam
Traffic Jam... traffic jam... traffic jam... woo!

I dated Siamese twins
I slept with Bigfoot, too
Get me on Sally Jesse
Put me on Donahue
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

My dog's a narcoleptic
My mom's a circus freak
I gotta get a spot on
Geraldo's show this week
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict
Stripper born without a chin
And I'm only comfortable talking about it
When the whole wide world is listening in

Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me

My wife ran off with Elvis
My boss shaved off my hair
I've got a thing for poodles
And rubber underwear
And I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

I had a close encounter
I never chew my food
I got eleven nose jobs
I yodel in the nude
And I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

I'm just a cross-dressin' alcoholic neo-Nazi
Porno star, as you may have guessed
And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better
If you let me get this thing off my chest

Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me

I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac
Albino go-go dancer, you see
Nothin' so bad that I can't share it
With a billion friends on national TV, whoa...

I have no genitalia
I sold my kids for cheese
I love my blow up doll, so
Bring out those cameras, please
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me

Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me

Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me

Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me)
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me

There's something weird in the fridge today
I don't know what it is
Food I can't recognize
My roommate won't throw a thing away
I guess it's probably his
It looks like it's alive...

And livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge

There's something gross in the fridge today
It's green and growin' hair
It's been there since July
If you can name the object
In that baggie over there
Then mister, you're a better man than I

It's livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge

Tell me, do you think it should be carbon dated
Fumigated or creamated and buried at sea?
You try to save a little bit of you're home cookin'
Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin' specimen
It always happens my friend
Again & again & again & again

Somethin' stinks in the fridge today
And it's been rottin' there all week
It could be liver cake or wooly mammoth steak
Well, maybe I should another peek...

Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

When we first met she seemed perfectly normal
I never dreamed she'd make my life so hard
You see, my baby, she started to change
Started lookin' kinda strange
Wearin' all that white makeup and those black leotards
Well, I guess she kept her little secret pretty well
Now, ever since I learned the horrible truth
You know my life has been a living hell
That's right, you see

She never told me she was a mime
She never told me she was a mime, oh no
Actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the time
She never told me, she never told me whe was a...
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mime

I wish we both could just talk it all over
But my baby won't even make a sound
Now she makes everybody sick
Doin' that pantomime shtick
Even our old friends have stopped coming around
Well, mmy parents can't stand her
And our neighbors hate her guts
She's really, really embarrassing me
This silent treatment's driving me nuts
You see

She never told me she was a mime
She never told me she was a mime, oh no
Now she's actin' like she's trapped
Inside a big glass box all the time... what a crime
She never told me (she never told me)
She never told me she was a mime

She walks against the wind everywhere we go
Stops at every corner, gotta put on a show
Carries 'round a picture of Marcel Marceau
Always the wuiet type, but how was I know to know?

She never told me she was a mime
She never told me she was a mime, oh no
Actin' like she's trapped
Inside a big glass box all the ti-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yime
She never told me, she never told me whe was a mime

Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey the Wonder Hamster,
He doesn't bite and he doesn't squeal
He just runs around in his hamster wheel!
Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey, the wonder hamster!
Hey Harvey!

It took a lifetime, but I finally found
The perfect waffle recipe
You'll never find a batter any better
In this whole stinkin' town
One little bite and I'm sure that you'll agree

Your eyes roll back and your knees get weak
Aw, you're gonna lick your plate clean
People come from miles around just to study my technique
I make the best darn waffles this world has ever seen

I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King)... yeah
Waffle King (Waffle King)
That's what they call me
Waffle King (Waffle King)
Hey, I'm the Waffle King

Everywhere I go, the people cheer
I never have to wait in line
People say right this way sir
Your money's no good here
Some day I betcha they'll build me a shrine

And everybody say, well, I'm your biggest fan!
I seen your picture in People Magazine!
Folks come from around the world
Just to shake my hand
If you don't believe in the power of the waffle
Lemme show you just what I mean

I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King)
Make you want to scream and shout
Waffle King (Waffle King)
That's my name, don't wear it out
Waffle King (Waffle King)
Make no mistake about it I'm the Waffle King... yeah

Roll out the red carpet, 'cause here I come
All you peons better scram
Out of my way, you worthless piece of scum
Don't you know who I am?
Hey!

I wanna see you grovel, you waffle-eatin' fools
Everybody, on your knees
You wanna buy a waffle, you're playin' by my rules
Go on, beg me... lemme hear you say pretty please

Can't you tell the universe revolves around me?
Don't you know you suckers owe me everything?
And can't you see that I'm the highest form of life
That there could ever be
Everybody all around the world, stand up and sing
Come on now...

Waffle King
Hey, batter batter
Waffle King
Hot on your platter
Waffle King
Say, what's the matter

Don't you know who I am?
Don't you know who I am?

Tell 'em, girls
(He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King)
Yeah yeah
(He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King)
Tell the truth now
(He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King)

Don't you know who I am?
Don't you know who I am?

I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King)
Step aside, I'm coming through
Waffle King (Waffle King)
Hey, what's the matter with you?

Listen pal
You can kiss my royal butt (Waffle King)
Don't you know who I am?
You've got to be kidding me
I'm the Waffle King

Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me
To me

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning - very, very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo figaro - Magnifico... Hey! Hey! Hey!
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Will not let you go - let him go
Will not let you go - let him go
No, no, no, no, no no no no no!

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me
For me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby - Can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me
Anyway the wind anyway the wind anyway the wind blows - Hey!

We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes
Most of our brain cells are gone
We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad
Or we just might toilet paper your lawn
We got a reputation 'round these parts
We only leave a ten percent tip
Sometimes we don't return our shoping carts
Stay out of our way and don't you give us no lip

'Cause we're young... dumb and ugly
That's what we are
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly

We wear black leather in the hottest weather
You can't imagine the smell
We got three-day stubble, our names spell trouble
T-R-U-B-E-L
Reaisin' hell, bendin' the rules just a little
We're livin' only for thrills
We squeeze our tooothpaste tubes from the middle
And wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills

'Cause we're young... dumb and ugly
You better believe it
We're young... young, dumb and ugly
I'll tell you again
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
We're comin' to your town
Yeah, we're young... young, dumb and ugly

We're wild, reckless men, we're on a rampage again
We drive with just one hand on the wheel
Danger's in our soul, we're goin' out of control
Swimmin' right after a big heavy meal
We're there wherever trouble's starting
We're rebels without a clue
We drink milk right from the carton
And keep our library books 'till they're way overdue

'Cause we're young... dumb and ugly
That's what we are
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
You can't stop us
We're young... we're so young, dumb and ugly
Young, dumb & ugly
We're young... we're young, dumb and ugly
So ugly
Young... dumb... & ugly