Альбом The Dresden Dolls

Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Sender
We're pleased to inform you that your applications been accepted
Starting from the time you get this letter
Your life will be one never-ending “hope you're feeling better”
You get your choice of an aesthetic
We'll need to chop your clock off (tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock)
It might not be what you expected
There is no money back once you've been ripped off, ripped off, ripped off

Today's a very special day
The boys'll murder for it but what will the neighbors say
It leaves you feeling pretty hollow
It might be nice to look at
Don't forget you're stuck with it tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

You're big enough to stop pretending
You'll start to really show within a week or so
So don't go saying it's just come to your attention
You'll get more than you're asking for without the right protection

Today's a very special day
And how you'd love to have a little thing with which to play
But love wont get you very far
Today be still your beating heart
You'll have to keep on feeding it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys
Will be girls with no warning girls will be girls will be guys
Will be boys that don't cry over toys that they use to beat girls they despise
by the morning
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you

No second thoughts the knife is nearing
You'll never hear the little pitter patter pitter patter
Of this little feat of engineering
Of course I love you and of course it's what's inside that matters
But I think the whole charade is ending
It seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting
Caught up in a long life of regretting
The doctors said that once you get a taste for it you'll keep on cutting

But while you happen to be here
Why don't you whisper all those sweet forevers in my ear
Stiff upper lip for all this sorrow
Hurry up and stick it in
You never when it will end
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you

The record goes from blue to gold
So thank you for all your help
I know you want to jump around
But try to contain yourself

You always struck me as the type to take it lightly
But now you're gonna have to shut your mouth and fight me

Oh backstabber
Backstabber

You're all alone
You're all over the popular magazines
Will never care what do you care
You're down with the japanese

But you've got no right to sit there saying I abuse it
When you only sleep with girls who say they like your music

Oh backstabber
Backstabber, backstabber...

Backstabber! Hope grabber!
Greedy little fit haver!
God I feel for you fool
You Shit lover! Off-brusher!
Jaded bitter joy crusher!
Failure has made you so cruel, you

Rotten to the core
Rotten to the core

Rotten like a crackwhore
Begging out the backdoor
Show us what you're good for
Post it on the noise board
Come on join the bloodsport
Show us some support
Still working at the drugstore
Is it because you're
A fucking

Backstabber! Hope grabber!
Greedy little fit haver!
God I feel for you fool
You Shit lover! Off-brusher!
Jaded bitter joy crusher!
Failure has made you so cruel

So don't tell me what to write
And don't tell me that i'm wrong
And don't tell me not to reference my songs within my songs

Oh oh You backstabber! Hope grabber!
Backstabber greedy fucking fit haver!
Backstabber!

Presenting modern moonlight just as advertised
Coke and Pepsi finally found a compromise
How can they complain that we're all fucked up kids
When they keep on changing who our mother is?

Like it all you want it's fruitless
Night is in the way of progress

Retinas are bleeding for the enterprise
Surgically wired into paradise
Yesterday I dropped in at the mkb
Everyone was messaging like it was going out of style
It was just the cynic in me
God, I love communicating!
I just hate the shit we're missing

Everybody join in the magnificence
Yes! Everything is absolutely making sense
Every time you turn around your soul gets sold
To the highest bidder
Then they turn around and merger and they merger
And the merger and they murder and they murder
The one who murders most will take it all

Fight it all you want it's useless
Night is in the way of progress

We're gonna take your cities one by one
Catch your cables cut your cords and spoil all your fun
We're gonna make your lite a living hell
Cause stripped of your equipment you'll be forced to face yourself…

Wire cutters of the world
You know what to use it for
Spread the word to all the tightrope walker boys and girls
Brace yourself for miracles
You're in for a nasty shock
When the war is over
You can read the paper
When the war is over
You can read the paper

I'm counting back the number of the steps
It took for me to get back on the wagon of the weekend
All gives me out of time
Another proof that I`ll got home with my imagination
If they find the body in the basement
In the very house that she was raised in

I'm taking down
The number of the times
So when we get the sign from god
I'll be the first to call

Well I'm taking back the number of the beast
'Cause six is not a pretty number
Eight or three are definitely better
"A" is for the address on the letter
To my alcoholic friends

I'm trying hard not to be ashamed
Not to know the name of who is waking up beside me
Or the date, the season or the city
But at least the ceiling's very pretty
And if you are holding it against me

I'll be on my best behaviour
Taking shots for mother nature
Once my fist is in the cupboard
Love is never falling over

Should I choose a noble occupation?
If I did I'd only show up late and sick
And they would stare at me with hatred
Plus, my only natural talents wasted
My alcoholic friends
My alcoholic friends
The party's never ends
My alcoholic friends

There's no end to the love you can give
When you change your point of view to underfoot very good
You may be flat but you're breathing

And there's no doubt he's at home in his room
Probably watching porn of you from the fall
It's last call and you're the last one leaving

And you thought you could change the world
By opening your legs
Well it isn't very hard
Try kicking them instead
And you thought you could change his mind
By changing your perfume to the kind his mother wore
Oh God Delilah why?
I never met a more impossible girl

In this same bar where you slammed down your hand
And said “Amanda, I'm in love”, no you're not
You're just a sucker for the ones who use you
And it doesn't matter what I say or do
The stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you

You're an unrescuable schizo
Or else you're on the rag
If you take him back
I'm gonna lose my nerve
I never met a more impossible girl

At four o'clock he got off and you called up
“I'm down at Denny's on route one
And you won't guess what he's done”
Is that a fact Delilah?
Larry tap let you in through the back
And use his calling card again
For a quick hand of gin

You are impossible, Delilah, the princess of denial
And after seven years in advertising you are none the wiser

You're an unrescuable schizo
Or else you're on the rag
'Cause if you take him back
I'm gonna lose my nerve
He's gonna beat you like a pillow
You schizos never learn
And if you take him home
You'll get what you deserve

So don't cry Delilah
You're still alive Delilah
You need a ride Delilah
Let's see how fast this thing can go
Let's see how fast this thing can go
Let's see how fast this thing can go

Raise your glass
We have incorporated
Place your bets
We're all so sick of waiting
Queen takes jack
You got me this time but I'll get you back
So pick a number

To all the ones who tried the most
Was I supposed to cheer your efforts
Sorry that I chose so poorly
Golly gee am I the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
They'd make an angels skin crawl
If you ask them for assistance
There's an even chance
You'll get a number

To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient

To all the ones that hated me the most a toast
You really had me
Going for a second I was nervous
Boy am I the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
The kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her

To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
Who was mine in Ninety-nine I want last names and current status
To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second
I was nervous boy am I the poster girl

For some suburban sickness
Better keep a healthy distance
Now its up to you know what to do
It's pretty dirty business

It is a Thursday
I get up early
It is a challenge
I'm usually lazy

I make some coffee
I eat some rice chex
And then I sit down
To check my inbox

I only read a word or two
I stare across the street and see the churches and the blue

The first orgasm of the morning
Is cold and hard as hell
There won't be any second coming
As far as I can tell

I arch my back cause
I'm very close now
It's very cold here
By the window

There are some school kids
Yelling and running
I barely notice
That I am cumming

The first orgasm of the morning
Is like a fire drill
It's nice to have a little warning
But not enjoyable

I am too busy to have friends
A lover would just complicate my plans
So I will never look for love again
I'm taking matters into my own hands

I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
Won't you hold me, won't you hold me

Oh Mrs. O
Will you tell us where the naughty children go
Will you show
How the sky turned white and everybody froze
Heaven knows
How they got into the fireplace
But everybody's saying grace
And trying to keep a happy face

And Oh Mrs. O
Can you teach us
How to keep from getting cold
Out we go
And you watch us as we face the falling snow
What a show
With our hairdryers aimed heavenwards
And fifty foot extension cords
You really have a way with words

The truth can't save you now
Ah ah ah
The sky is falling down
Oh oh oh

Watch the vultures
Count the hours
April trains may
Bring strange showers

And Oh Mrs. O
Will you tell about the time they made you go
All alone to the palace where they took your only clothes
We all know
There's no hell and no Hiroshima
Chernobyl was a cover up
The world is really all in love

And Oh Mrs. O
Will you leave us hanging now that we are grown
Up and old
Will you kill me if I say I told you so
We all know
There's no Hitler and no holocaust
No winter and no Santa Claus
And yes Virginia all because

The truth can't save you now
Ah ah ah
The sky is falling down
Oh oh oh
Everything they ever told us
Shakes our faith and
Breaks their promise
But you can stop the truth
From leaking
If you never stop believing

He's been trying with limited success
To get this girl to let him get into her pants
But every time he thinks he's getting close
She threatens death before he gets a chance

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way it's been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California

And she's been trying with limited success
To get him to turn out the lights and dance
Cause like any girl all she really wants
That fickle little bitch romance
That fickle little bitch romance

And that is why a girl is called a tease
And that is why a guy is called a sleaze
And that's why god made escort agencies
One life to live and mace and GHB

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way since the animals and noah
First climbed onto the shores of California

Must not be too kind
Stop thinking love is blind
Clench your fists yeah write
“She's just not my type...”

Why all these conflicting specifications
Maybe to prevent overpopulation
All I know is that all around the nation
The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating
The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way aristophanes and homer
Wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way it's been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California

Let's get lost
Fingers crossed
It is an ordinary evening
I am broadcasting are you receiving

Sick sick sound
All fall down
It is a necessary evil
Just like highway gas stations and people

I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
And if you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find your self without me

Hi I'm fine
You are saying nothing but your tongue is getting blacker all the time
It is a measurable feeling
Seven on a scale from dead to breathing
I've connected speakers to my suitors at the discotheques
And they don't know the difference
Are they men or are they memorex?
And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your listerine, listerine

I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me

And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your listerine, listerine, listerine

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh iv
Giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be

Yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing
Let's start in with a test of your intelligence
And zest for the counter-productive
Up and down and roundabout and out the back
And keep your mouth shut tight
The lights are staying out but no sweat i've got aim like a mack truck
Guess how many fingers ok guess how many more I can fit there
Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere

I've been baking cakes for the enemy
I've been dying to find out the hard way
Ive been taking friends to the alleyway
Two down now but who's counting anyway

Yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV
All my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery
Put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options
How about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin

I've been getting up close and intimate
Some close calls but I'm getting into it
In some states they say you can burn for it
But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it

It's not a bad thing
To get professional
It's got a nice ring
Mandy goes to med school

I've been taking tips from the government
I've been getting damn good at hiding it
Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it
Two down now but who's gonna notice it
And if you show up and I am unavailable
My partner Brian would love to take care of you

He is a nice man
Thoroughly reliable
He's in a rock band
And he goes to med school

Bring two prix fixe dinners up
I'll unwrap the plastic cups
It's just us my love
It's just us my love

I will make the room up nice
Put your insides all on ice
It was real true love
It was real true love

Close all the windows
Put signs on the handles
And strip down to my dun-dun-duns
You have gone so far
You have gone so far

And tonight
Its just me and the minibar

Candles from the walmart that
Every city's got to have
That I bought last night
That I bought last night

I was so excited to
Do such normal things with you
When you left last night
With your toothbrush dry

No such details will spoil my plan
That is the kind of girl I am
Ha ha ha

Can you hear room 'three eighteen'
Man they're really happening
They're a wild bunch
They're a wild bunch
But if they just knew
What my night was coming to
God would they vomit and run
You have gone so far
You have gone too far
So tonight
It's just me and the minibar
Nobody else
And I sing at the top of my lungs
Happy birthday us
Happy birthday us

There is this thing that's like fucking except you don't fuck
Back in the day it just went without saying at all
All the world's history gradually dying of shock
There is thing that's like talking except you don't talk
You sing
You sing

Sing for the bartender sing for the janitor sing
Sing for the cameras sing for the animals sing
Sing for the children shooting the children sing
Sing for the teachers who told you that you couldn't sing
Just sing

There is thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked
It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance
After the show you can not sing wherever you want
But for now lets all pretend that we're gonna get bombed
So sing

Sing cause its obvious sing for the astronauts sing
Sing for the president sing for the terrorists sing
Sing for the soccer team sing for the janjaweed sing
Sing for the kid with the phone who refuses to sing
Just sing

Life is no cabaret
We don't care what you say
We're inviting you anyway
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday