Альбом Tenacious D

[spoken]
[KG:] Dude, we gotta f**kin' write something new. C'mon.
[strums]
[JB:] I don't like that. So far ba--, off to a bad start.
[strums again]
[JB:] Better, closer, warmer.
[strums again]
[JB:] That's it. Okay.

[sung]
I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your buttcheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now get it on!

I see you walkin', but all I can think about is
Dianetics, your buttcheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now I've been set loose-ah,
I'm shooting my juice-ah,
Right in your caboose.
Now f**kin' get it on!
Now get it on.
Get it on!

Dianetics Jr. much better than Krishna,
Dianetics Jr. much better indeed,
And all you people here you're tremendous,
(Except the people in the back),
And you're smokin' up a big-ass bowl of weed
With me, me and KG.
All right!
Oh yeah,
All right! Oh my God!
All the ladies in the house say yeah (yeah),
C'mon, you muthaf**ka say a prayer (prayer),
When ya fight, ya gotsta fight fair,
You muthaf**ka, ho, you muthaf**ka,
You know what time it is?
Tenacious D time, you muthaf**ka, go!
F**k yeah!
Yeah, yeah!

[spoken]
Dude, that was TNT.

KG:Jack
JB:yeah
KG:do you think some people
do you think that there's some people
that arent really
that are actually robots
living among us
JB:No
KG:that we cant tell
JB:No we dont have the technology yet
but rage
rage ra..
KG:yeah
JB: ..ge
KG:yeah
JB:you know what I was thinking?
stop playing
I was thinking of a fucking brilliant song
KG:yeah?
JB:check it out.
just do what I do
KG:ok
JB:just play this note
and then we both keep playing
just keep both playnig that note
every once in a while bend it
an' that's it
and just remember who wrote that song
me baby me
KG: oh.....
see its fucking simple
thats one song in the bank
next song
KG:is uh
JB:next song
KG:how can, but it's one note
JB:next
anybody could have wrote it
anybody could have done it
JB: ffrt
KG: its one song its one note
JB:but guess who did write it Me
KG:yeah but did you did you write the the listen...
JB:dude I did
I told you to do the bendy every once in a while
KG;oh yeah you did
JB;woohoo I win
KG;shit
JB;I win
one to nothin

This is the greatest and best song in the world...
Tribute
Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here
We was hitch hiking down a long and lonesome road
All of a sudden
There shined a shiny demon
In the middle of the road
And he said
Play the best song in the world or I'll eat your souls
Well me and Kyle....... we looked at each other......
And we each said.....
OK

And we played the first thing that came to our heads
Just so happened to be
The best song in the world
It was the best song in the world...

look into my eyes and it's easy to see
one and one make two and one and one makes three
it was destiny.........
once every hundred thousand years or so when the sun doth shine
and the moon doth glow and the grass doth grow
Needless to say....
The beast was stunned....
Whip-crack with his whippy tail
And the beast was done
He asked us
*snort* Be you angels?
And we said nay
We are but men
Rock!!
aaahhhh aaahhh ahhhhooowhooohooo hoowoo hoowoo aiyahaaho

This is not the greatest song in the world, no
This is just a tribute
Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world
Yeah no
This is a tribute
To the greatest song in the world
alright
It was the greatest song in the world
alright
this is the greatest motherfuckin' song, the greatest song in the world oh

*barbershop quartet-style bit*

And the peculiar thing is this my friends
The song we sang on that fateful night
It didn't actually sound anything like this song
This is just a tribute
You gotta believe me
And i wish you were there
Just a matter of opinion
pow Good God
Gotta love him
So surprised to find ya can't stop him

Allright *x2

High above the mucky-muck
Castle made of cloud...
There sits Wonderboy
Sitting oh-so-proudly.
nothing much to say
When you're high above the mucky-muck... Yeaaauh! Yeuh!

Wonderboy!
What is the secret of your power?
WonderBoy!
Won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck, man?

now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman
arch-rival and nemesis of Wonderboy
With powers comparable to WONDERBOY!

What powers you ask?
I dunno.. how about the power of flight,
that do anything for ya?
It's levitation, Holmes.
How about the power to kill a yak, from 200 yards away,
With MIND bullets?!?
That's telekenisis Kyle
...How about the power to move you?

History of Wonderboy and Young Nastyman...
Rigga Goo-goo, Rigga Goo-Goo ga
A secret to be told
A gold chest- to be bold!
And Blasting forth with three-part harmony!
Yeah!

Wonderboy!
What is the secret of your power?
WonderBoy!
Won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck, man?

Well Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces
They formed a band
The likes of which have never been seen!
And they call themselves Tenacious D
That's right-
ME!
and KG!-that's me
Were, now-ow
Tenaaaacious D!
Come fly with me!
Fly!

Wonderboy!
What is the secret of your power?
WonderBoy!
Won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck, man?

Oh, Take my hand, Young Nasty man, and we'll fly.

Bring out your broad sword. Theres the hydra.
Slice his throat and grab his scrote.
You take the high road.
I'll take the low.
There!!! The crevasse!
Fill it!
With your mighty juice!

KG:
We should talk about the hard fucking, though...

JB:
Hard fucking?

KG:
Because, I think it's a pretty common complaint

JB:
Yeah, the ladies don't really like the hard fucking

KG:
You feel like you're giving them some extra juice

JB:
They're not into that!

KG:
No... You think you're like, oh, taking them to the limit

JB:
Maybe they are, though... they're into that... You know what the test is?
You just say, "Get on top, honey! You do what you like!" And then
sometimes she'll be fucking you really hard... It's like, "Wait! You like that?
You like that? Slow down, I'm gonna spurt... Ah! Ah! Sorry... shouldn't
have fucked me so hard!

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely.

You don’t always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that’s not right.. to do
Sometimes you gotta make some love
And fuckin' give her some smooches too.

Sometimes you've got to squeeze,
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you got to say hey,
I’m gonna fuck you softly,
I’m gonna screw you gently,
I’m gonna hump you sweetly,
I’m gonna ball you discreetly.

Then you say hey I brought you flowers
Then you say wait a minute Sally
I think I got something in my teeth
Could you get it out for me?
That’s fuckin' TEAMWORK!

What’s your favorite posish?
That’s cool with me
It’s not my favorite but I’ll do it for you.
What's your favorite dish?
I’m not gonna cook it but
I’ll order it from Zanzibar.

And then I’m gonna love you completely,
And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly.
And then I'll fuckin bone you completely
But then I’m gonna fuck you haaaard.
Haaaaa-aaaaa-AARD!!

Climb upon my faithful steed.
Then we're gonna ride, gonna smoke some weed.
Climb upon my big assed steed.
And ride, ride, ride.

What's the name of the song, Explosivo!
Don't know what it's about, but it's good to go.
What's the name of my girlfriend, I don't know.
But she's built like the shit, and she's good to go, go.
She's good to go, she's good to go.
We are fueled by Satan, yes, we're schooled by Satan.
Fueled by Satan!
Writing those tasty riffs, just as fast as we can.
Schooled by Satan!
We were the inventors of the cosmic astral code.
We've come to blow you away, we've come to blow your nose.
We've come to fucking blow, we've come to blow the show.
We've come to fucking blow!
You know it, you know it
What's the name of the song, Explosivo!
Don't know what it's about, but it's good to go.

I am not one of you.
I come from an ancient time.
I am known as the kicker of animals
I am also known as The Angel Crusher.
These pics that I show you,
One moment in Satan's cauldron,
Take these pics they're souvenirs,
Satan's pics

Explosivo!

Dio has rocked for a long, long time.
Now it's time for him to pass the torch.
He has songs of wildabeasts and angels,
He has soared on the wings of a demon.

It's time to pass the torch,
You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you.
We're takin' you to a home,
But we will sing a song about you.

And we will make sure that you're very well taken care of.
You'll tell us secrets that you've learned. Raow!
Your sauce will mix with ours,
And we'll make a good goulash, baby.
Dio, time to go!
You must give your cape and scepter TO ME.
And a smaller one for KG.
Go, go! Dio, Dio!

(Kyle Gass snores loudly)

Jack Black: Oh my god. Oh my god, I've done it.
(shouts) Cage! Come here, I want you!
Kyle: What? What?? God! I'm sleeping, dude!
What are you talking about...
Jack: Oh my god.
Kyle: What?
Jack: I did it.
Kyle: What d'ya do?
Jack: I've done it. I fuckin' did it.
The most powerful tool in singing technology since yodelling, dude.
Oh my god, inward singing.
Kyle: What?
Jack: Check it out, it's an invention.
And it makes non-stop rocking possible.
(shouts) Think about it, man!
Rock singers are only rocking you half of the time!
The other time they're...they're...they're...they're breathing! In!
But not anymore, baby! hahahahaha!! Not with inward singing, check it out!
(Jack sings inwards, then outwards. while doing this, he sings:)
And then I start some lyrics and you can't believe I'm singing
And I'm never fucking stopping
And I'm always fucking singing
And now you know that I will never stop the fucking singing
I'm like a fucking one-man band
I'm like a fucking one-man band!
(Jack then starts talking again)
And I can sing like that all fucking night!
Kyle: ...Wow....It wasn't really non-stop though, there was a slight...
Jack: (shouts) Arrgh, shut up! It is non-stop!
And the other thing is, that when I'm fuckin' singing in,
it sounds even better!
Than when I'm singing out! Shut up! Fuck you! You fucking dick!
Always nay-saying...everything I create! You piece of shit!
YOU create something like inward singing! You fucking shit!
You fucking sit in your tower! Fucking nap...
Kyle: (laughing)
Jack: What's funny??.... You fucking bitch! Fucking...fuck you!
Fuckin'...cock ass!!
(Jack pauses for a minute to breathe)
Jack: You're fired from the band.
Kyle: Um, that won't be necessary, Jack.
Jack: Why?
Kyle: I'm quitting.
Jack: What?
Kyle: I quit.

Last week
Kyle quit the band
Now we're back together
Misunderstanding
Didn't understand
It doesn't matter
Now we're back together again
La la la la la
Couldn't split up Kato and Nash (Thats true)
Couldn't split up Tango and Cash
That's also true
This is our song of exalting joy because
We only came to kick some ass
Rock the fuckin house
And kick some ass
What we gonna do with all the cash?
Smoke hash
And then we we thrash
We'll throw a big ol' bash y'all
And everyone is invited to the bash
And everyone, you are invited to the bash
C'mon Kyle, one time C'MON

The road is fuckin' hard,
The road is fuckin' tough-ah,
There's no question that-eh
It is rough, rough stuff.
It's the fuckin' road my friend
But it's the only road I know.
When I'm munchin' on a tasty boosh
Right after the show.
You g-go go go!

The road is fuckin' hard,
It's also really fuckin' tough,
There's no question that
It don't take no guff.
The road is a be-a-itch my friend
But it's the only fuckin' road I know,
When I'm snackin' on a tasty boosh
Right after the show.
You g-go go go!

I met a tasty baby in Michigan.
We screwed two times then I left.
Sometimes I think of my baby in Michigan.
Why can't I stay in one place
For more than two days.
Why?!
Because I'm talkin' about the road. [5X]
Road!
+

KG-D'you think that um...Dude d'you think that when the album...
When this is out, D'you think this'll make us umm.. more attractive to the ladies?

JB-pshh....yeah. In fact I been getting ready.

KG- Yeah?

JB- Yeah. I been doin' cock pushups.

KG-Cock pushups?
JB-yeah
KG-What are those?

JB- It's where you fuckin' lay down flat, on the ground
KG-yeah?
JB-And you let your boner lift you up off the ground.

KG-noooooo.....That would be impossible..Your cock
could support your whole weight?

JB-well not at first
KGyeah
JB-but over time

KG-Hmm..well how many pushups can you do?

JB-Cock pushups?

KG- Yeah. I guess you could only do one...really...

JB- Yeah, one is all you need.

Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee,
Leeee, Leeee,
Leeee, Leeee!

Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee,
We're talkin' fuckin' Lee!

I had a friend named Lee
He cast a spell,
A spell on mee!
If me and Lee,
and KG, could be free
Flyin' free tenacious-lee!

Skinny-dippin in a sea of Lee
I'll propose on bended knee!
To Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee!

Le, le, le, le,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee!
Le, le, le, le,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee!

If me, and lee, and KG
Could be free! (Could be free!)
Plant a tree! (Plant a tree!)
Just for Lee! (Just for Lee!)
Lee!

(karate chop voice) Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee!

fuck! (in a low voice)

brrrriiiinngg. fbrrrrrrrriiing.
*click*

Kyle: Two Kings.

Jack: Hey Kage.

Kyle: Hey!

Jack: How's it goin'?

Kyle: Good, good...

Jack: What are you---what are you doin'?

Kyle: Oh, god, I was just, I was---

Jack: I love you.

Kyle: ...what'd you say?

Jack: I said I love you, man. I just wanted to say it.

Kyle: Dude, thanks... thank you... that's awesome. Fuckin' awesome.
I mean, uh... that's cool you can say that.

Jack: Don't you have something to say?

Kyle: No. (pause) Aw, I mean, I, uh, I like you... I like you too, dude.

Jack: Whoa, whoa. LIKE? HO HO HO, MAN! I'm glad I fuckin'
did this test on you, the friendship test!

Kyle: What?

Jack: No, man---

Kyle: What are you talkin' about?

Jack: That---what happened before when I said I love you, that was a test.
Because, man, I could've made a total ASS of myself if I hadn't done this test on you.
*whistles* HOO HOO!

Kyle: Wait, you don't---

Jack: Boy.

Kyle: You don't really love me?

Jack: Dude, listen. You fuckin' passed the test, okay? But BARELY.
You know what you got?

Kyle: What'd I get?

Jack: F+. *click*

Friendship is rare
Do you know what I'm saying to you?
Friendship is rare
My derriere
When you find out much later
That they don't really care

It's rare... to me
Can't you see
It's rare... to me
Can't you see?

Oh shit, there's a bear
Could you hand me that shotgun, buddy
Also that chair?
We're fighting a bear
Now your life's in great danger
And you don't even care

It's rare... to me
Can't you see?
It's rare... to me
Can't you see?
It's rare... to me
Say a prayer... for me
Cuz it's rare to be in Tenacious D

Friends will be friends - they're running naked in the sand
Friends holding hands - they'll someday surely form a band
Friends will be friends - they say that friends are friends to the bitter end
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends

Friends will be friends - they're running naked in the sand
Friends holding hands - they'll someday surely form a band
Friends will be friends - they say that friends are friends to the bitter end
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends
As long as there's a record deal we'll always be... friends..... yeah.

"Im hungy, I'm gonna go check the fridge. Where's my fuckin'
schnitzel? Dude wake up. You stole my fuckin schnitzel."
"WHAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"Dude you stole my schnitzel."
"What?"
"You stole my fuckin' schnitzel."
"Well, you put it in there, it was in there, so it's a fair game, for
anybody who wants to eat it."
"Yeah? Yeah? Well I guess this a fair game. WHA!"
"OW! OW!"
"Yeah that was a karate chop! You didn'y like it? Well KEEYAI!!"
OW! DAMNIT!"
"KEEYAI!"
"Ow!!!!"

With karate I'll kick your ass
From here to Tian'anmen Square
Oh yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' derriere, yeah, yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hair...
You motherfucker...
You motherfucker...

Kyle betrayed me and then he lied, tried to hide
And I died deep inside, and you know the reason why...

I'm gonna kick your ass
From here to right over there
Oh, yeah, motherfucker, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' derriere, yeah, yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hair...
You motherfucker...
You motherfucker...
prac yeknod (donkey crap)

One, two, three, four, five, SIX SIX SIX!

It doesn't matter if it is good,
It only matters if it rocks.
The main thing that we do is to rock your socks off.
There's no such thing as a rock prodigy,
Cause rock 'n roll is bogus, right KG? ('Right!')
Only thing that really matters is a classical sauce.
And that's why me and KG are classically trained
To rock your fuckin' socks off!
Give 'em a taste, KG.
('Okay.')

That is Bach, and it rocks.
It's a rock block of Bach,
That he learned in the school,
Called the School of Hard Knocks!

Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for rock,
Give it up for blues,
Give it up for everything that is not to lose.
Now, rock your socks off, woman,
We'll rock your shit up, y'all.
Give it up, children, now to freak your shit out!
All right!

Now I know what a lot of you are sayin',
'I just figured out what I'm gonna do with the rest of my days.
I'm gonna get me an oversized guitar,
Gain forty pounds, and be the next D.'
Well, I got sour news for you, jack. It ain't that easy.
For instance, are you willing to make the commitment to wakin' up
At the crack a' noon, for deep-knee rock squats?
Seven or eight at a time? In a row!
How 'bout, are you willing to make the commitment
To rock-hard tasty abs, washer-board style!
Glistening in the sun.
How 'bout, are you willin' to make the commitment,
Of wakin' up, goin',
'Okay, it's gig time, what t-shirt am I gonna wear?
I can't decide, can't decide. Brain aneurysm!'
We've been through so much bullshit just to be here tonight
To rock your fuckin' socks off.
And all we ask in return is some precious little...
All we're askin' you to do
Is drop trou
And squeeze out
A Cleveland Steamer on my chest. ('Ooh.')

Two, three, four!
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for KG, give it up for me,
Give it up for rock, give it up for blues,
Give it up for everything that is not to lose.
Now, rock your socks off, woman,
We'll rock your shit up, y'all.
Give it up, children, won't you freak your shit out!
All right!

Kage?
Yea?
Let's go to this drive-thru
oh good, im starvin'
*vrrooooommmm noise*
may I help you?
Yea, um, uh
Can I have your order?
yea, hold on a second im looking at the menu
Ok
..ummm

Would you like to try seasoned curly?
Please don't, dont offer me anything
I'll tell YOU want I want,
OK..

um.. ok.. you know how you've got the six piece nugget?s
yes, six piece nuggets
just uh, can you just give me four nuggets?
im trying to, IT COMES IN SIX OR TWELVE PIECE
would you like to try them?
SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY ORDER..
take the six nuggets and throw two of them away
i'm just wanting my four nugget thing
i'm trying to watch my colory intake

it comes in six or twelve piece
PUT TWO OF THEM UP YOUR ASS
and give me four chicken mcnuggets
allright, four six piece nuggets

and then um.. can I have a Jr. Western Bacon Chee
A JR Western Bacon Chee,
im trying to watch my figure
Western Bacon Cheeseburger
A JR Western Bacon Chee
would you like that with onions?
no onions.. um..
ok Chicken Bacon Cheese, twelve six piece nuggets

and um.. im gonna' go with a filet of fish sandwich
since that has less calories cause its fish
Filet o' Fish..

now if you could take a coca-cola and just go half coca-cola half diet-coke
cuase im trying to watch my figure
try to loose some of the weight
uh.. you want half coca-cola half diet-coke?
um.. and a SMALL A SMALL chocolate shake
because im trying to watch my figure
not a large a small
it comes in medium-small or medium-large
um.. small chocolate shake..

um also a small season's curlys
small season's curlys..
ok i got small season's curleys, western bacon cheeseburger..
ummm fuck my ass what else

give me uhh.. allright cherrys jubilee and thats it
$10.01.
wait kage what do you want
uhhh geez let me have uhh
i think i want the regular western bacon cheeseburger
large shake, seasoned curlys..
OH GOD COME ON WITH THE ORDER, TAKE FOREVER
thats all i want, thats all i want
GOOD, ok..
how much is that sir? that will be $14.75
at the window please, please drive up

do you have any money?
oh shoot... umm yea i got like uhhh
give it to me.. Allright Here... ok
we only have umm alright

im gonna need to cancel the last two things on the order
ok thank you..
lets go

Damn
A hard days rockin'
Better slip off m'shoes
Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend
Dip my toe to jacuzzi baby
Slip out this book, "The Buttress of Windsor"
"Ho ho ho who's this? How's it goin'?"

That's the first thing I say to you
"How's it goin', are you flowin'?"
Listen honey
Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you
Showin', growin'
Man I'd like to place my hand upon your fuckin' sexy ass and squeeze
And squeeze

Take off your blouse
And your underpants
Then take a look
Cuz here me and K.G. come naked out of the side-hatch
With the oils and perfume and incense
Now you're groovin'
Put on a cool 70's groove
A funky groove to fuck to
A funky groove to fuck to

Me,me, and K.G.
It's all about sex supreme
We likes to cream jeans
Have you ever been worked on
By two guys who are hot for your snatch?
That's what i'm offerin' you

You step into a room
And then you smella perfume
You lay upon our roundish bed
And then you feel a tickling on your head
It's K.G. with a feather and the french tickler
Look out baby he got the tools
And then you feel somethin' down by your feet
It's me, it's J.B.
And I'm suckin' upon your toes

We don't mind suckin' on toes
Good luck finding a boyfriend who sucks toes oh
Havin' sex with me and K.G.
Now you're talkin' double team
Supreme!

Let's roll

Oh...

What? Yeah! Huh? No! Oh...
Oh that's it
That's right
Oh my God
Oh I think I'm gonna, oh
Splooge!

That was the one.
Hail Satan
Hail Satan
Hail Satan
Hail Satan

All you people up there in City Hall,
You're fuckin' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you motherfuckers in the streets it's time to rise up,
Come along children and fuckin' rise!

Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the fuckin' shit that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should fuck shit up,
Yeah we should fuckin' start a riot.
A Riot!

We'd have 'em screaming in the streets,
we'd have 'em tippin' over shit and breakin' fuckin' windows of small businesses,
and settin' fuckin' fires!
and settin' fuckin' fires!
and settin' fuckin' fires!

[spoken]
And then after the smoke has cleared,
and the rubble has been swept away,
me and KG will peek out our heads.
We've been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level,
from a bunker.

We did it Rage-Kage, we beat the bastards of City Hall!
[laughs] But now what will we do?
We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process?
Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how
and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.
No, not me and KG, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead...
Alright, we'll do it!

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
We'll lead as Two Kings.

[spoken]
The first decree is to legalize marijuana.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old fuckin' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
you're banished from the land!

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
Lead as Two Kings.

[spoken]
The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh, yeah,
We'll fuckin' lead as Two Kings.
Kiiiings
[spoken]
Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
(Tube technology.) Chop, chop, let's go.

[spoken]
Third decree: no more... rich people... and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings
Ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.
Ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.

[spoken]
[JB:] Oh my God.
[KG:] Ahh... What?
[JB:] Dude, the red phone is flashing.
[KG:] Oh, yeah.
[JB:] Let me scoop that up. Hello? Two Kings.
[KG:] Who is it?
[JB:] What?! No! No fucking way!
[KG:] What?
[JB:] Rage, there's a potato famine in Idaho, you gotta go down there!
[KG:] Oh my God... what?
[JB:] Dude, I gotta stay here!
[KG:] Why do I have to go?
[JB:] Please! Please!
[KG:] Oh, God, okay.
[JB:] Awesome... is he gone? Alright, emergency meeting of Parliament.
All right Parliament, I know this is fucked up,
But Rage, he can't be King anymore.
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Seriously, let's make him "Duke". A kick ass "Duke."
Or "leader formerly known as King," but-- uh-oh he's comin' back...

[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh yes
We'll really lead as Two Kings.

[spoken]
[KG:] Uh, dude?
[JB:] Rage.
[KG:] I went all over Idaho...
[JB:] Yeah?
[KG:] Uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
[JB:] What? There was no famine?
[KG:] Yeah, there was no famine, no.
[JB:] Dude.
[KG:] I don't know what's uh...
[JB:] A toast...
[KG:] A toast...
[JB:] Long live the "D."
[KG:] Long live the "D."
[clinking of glasses]
[JB:] Long live me. I'm sorry, I poisoned your wine.
[KG:] What?
[JB:] For the good of the land.
[KG:] You p-- I poisoned yours... huh heh, as well.
[JB/KG:] Noooooooooo!!!!!
No!

[sung]
City, city, city, city, city, city, shitty.
Shitty, city, shitty, shitty, city, city, shitty.
Hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.

People inside me are askin' me to smoke up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is talkin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is rockin'.

People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em GO! OH!

[spoken]
[JB:] Don't, cut that part out.

[KG:] We've got it.

[JB:] Um, do you believe in God?
[KG:] I believe, I believe.
[JB:] You do?
[KG:] I believe in God. I believe in God.
[JB: (laughs)] Y'do--
[KG:] I believe in God.
[JB:] Do you?
[KG:] I believe in God.

Malibu Nights (Hidden track)
[KG (spoken):]
Yeah, but you didn't fuckin' come up with this one
[KG starts playing]
[JB (spoken):] I got some lyrics.
[sung]
Malibu nights, tangerine dreams,
Malibu neighs, Malibu dreams,
Malibu, makin' a poo.
Stinky poo, lookin'd view.
Because it's time for my breakfast,
It's time for some cheese.
It's time for the stink,
time for the breeze,
time for the... curreeeeees!