Альбом Stabbing Westward

I'm such an asshole
I'm such a stain
I just keep fucking up again and again
You crawled inside my mind when you crawled into my bed
Said everyhting I've ever longed to hear
So perfect, so alive, once inside you sucked me dry
Used me up and left me here for dead
I crave it desperately, a cancer eating me
An addiction too intense to be denied
Worthless, I'm a whore, crawling back for more
Pathertic how I feed off this abuse
You told me that you loved me
You swore that you loved me
And I believed, now I know it was a lie

[chorus]
I don't believe
I don't believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I don't believe
I don't believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me

If only see myself reflected in your eyes
So all that I believe I am essentially are lies
And everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I
Died with your belief in me so who that hell am I?
I'm wondering 'round confused
Wondering why I try
The more that you deny my pain
The more it intensifies...
I need someone to ache for me the way I ache for you...
If you ignore that I'm alive
I've nothing to cling to
I stare in this mirror
So tired of this life

If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you
But I never meant it like this
I never meant like this
no i never meant like this

I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?

You make it hard to breathe
It's as if I'm suffocating
And when you're next to me
I can feel your heartbeat through my skin
It makes me sad to think
This all could be for nothing
I wish there was a way
For you to see inside of me
I've never felt this way
About anyone or anything
Tell me
What do I have to do to make you happy?
What do I have to do to make you understand?
What do I have to do to make you want me?
And, if I can't make you want me
What do I have to do?

I know exactly what you're thinking
But I swear this time I will not let you down
I'm not as selfish as I used to be
That was a part of me that never made me proud
Right now I think I would try anything
Anything at all to keep you satisfied
God I hope you see what loving you would do to me
All I want is one more chance, so tell me...
What do I have to do to make you love me?

I am not here
I think I've never been here at all or ever will be
I feel like a place
Where no one goes anymore
Why can't you see that everything's
Why does it seem this life's broken? turned gray?
I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe that I am real
It seems so bizarre
But none of this matters
Thoughts disappear, hope has died
Now I am safe, nothing can hurt me here
Why can't you see my need for forgiveness?
The truth and the lies confused as one
I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe in anything

I am alone
Locked in my memories
There's nowhere left for me to hide
But I am not real
I've made all I am with lies
Why does it seem that everything's different?
Why does it seem that only you are real?
I don't believe in anything sacred
So, why do I feel so damned alone?
[chorus]

I need someone to break the silence
That's screaming in my head
And in my soul

I feel your lips
I taste your skin
I need to know
I need to feel you from within
As your blood burns through my skin
I feel complete
I breathe you in
It's where you end and I begin
If only I could stay here...forever
So much to tell you
So much to confide
Now that I'm inside you
We are flesh
We are one
So why do I feel so much guilt for what I've done?
As your blood burns through my skin
I feel release
I breathe you in
It's where you end and I begin
If I could only stay here...forever
So much to tell you
So much to give you
So much to confide
Now that I'm inside you

I'm tangled and broken
Left scattered on the floor
Its useless now
There pieces
Can never make me whole
You wither
You blister
I watch you burn and peal
It's not like you
Can save me
It's not like you even care
I'm finding it so hard to hold on

This is where it falls apart
This is where it falls apart
I feel helpless as my everything comes
Crashing down on me
This is where it falls apart
This is where it falls apart
I feel helpless as my fucking world comes
Crashing down on me
Crashing down on me

Wasted thoughts of you
Useless prayers to you
Give me back my mind
I'm empty inside
What have I become?
Everything's undone
A candle burns here in your honor
My soul, a shrine I've built for you
I've got nothing left inside me
There's nothing left inside but you

Can't seem to pretend
This night has to end
I can't fill this hole
You are all I know

It's so wrong that I need you
It's so wrong that I need abuse
It's so wrong that I need you
So wrong that I'm scared I'll die alone

I'm feeling that weight of the world and
It's crushing me
I'm feeling the weight of everyday life
And it's crushing me
How much more will it take?
How much more until it breaks me?
This world...is crushing me
I'm feeling the hate of the world and it's crashing me
I'm feeling the hate of everyday life
And it's crushing me
I swallow the hate, betrayed and lies
Swallow it whole and shove it deep down inside of me
I'm feeling the weight of the world and it's crushing me

How much more will it take?
How much more until it breaks me?
This world is crushing me

She's beem here so many times
Before she can't remember
When she last felt anything at all
But this fear and anger
She states intently at the door,
Listens for his footsteps
She knows exactly what's in store
And the knowing makes it worse
When he calls her daddy's little girl,
She doesn't keep him
And when he crushed her
She can't feel her screems are silent
Hides in the corner of her mind
Where she plays contentedly
She leaves this night more far behind
Escapes inside her dreams

Floating high above her bed
Staring at her father's head
Wishing one of them were dead
So this hell could finally end

I feel it slipping away
I gave it all and no one called
I feel it slipping away
I feel it slipping away
No more pain, no more fear
I feel it slipping away
I just can't learn to forget
I just can't learn to forget
Now I'm choking on the memories
Choking on regret
I tried but I can't find a way
To untangle all the pieces
After they've been thrown away
I will not suffer thsi loss
Of you again and again and again
I refuse to continue to live
In this perpetual nightmare
I decide it ends right here
I feel it slipping
I feel it slipping
I feel it slipping
Everything is slipping away