Альбом Paula Cole

I remember the pain in my mother's eyes,
I remember the pain of her compromise years ago.
I always wanted to help to make it go away,
I didn't know it was her freedom that she needed so.

And she said to me, she said to me:

He hitch-hiked to Maine,
We went cross-country.
I had to leave my home,
I had to raise a family
We did the best we could being so young,
We tried to hard to build a happy home.

I never knew what to say to anybody,
I didn't know what to do, I was far too young.
But everybody could feel the suffocation,
Underneath for facade of a happy home.

And she said to me, she said to me:

Chorus

Home sweet freedom, flowing in my eyes, Home sweet freedom, flowing in my mind.

Sacrificed her dreams to motherhood,
Waiting and waiting to be understood fully.
Sacrificed her years to the family,
Waiting and waiting to be heard finally.

And she said to me, she said to me...

I nearly died I suicided softly
I saw her shadow through the cafe window
I watched you lean across the table
I watched you whisper in her ear

And she is your holy Mary
And I am so ordinary
And you can use me if you want to
I know you need me just like an old soft shoe

She looks like me but a bit prettier
She's a skater and a ballet dancer
I saw her on your motorcycle
In the seat I thought was meant for me

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And when your mother came to Boston you disappeared
And then I saw you three together
I guess she makes the best impression
With her charming femininity...

Chorus

Oh but I am the one you will call when alone
And I am the one who will give when she's gone
And so I give
So I give

I tell myself that love is truly giving
Somehow I justify this
Hoping you will understand me
Hoping you will love me back

And she is your holy Mary
And I am so ordinary
And she is your Queen Cleopatra
And I'm just your morning after
And she is your Star Spangled Banner
And I am just Frere Jaque
And you can lose me if you want to

And I am so ordinary

Lost in another world, oh Saturn, Saturn Girl.

Far away, to an infinite world I escape
I'm clear and calm, I'm unafraid.
Sunless days, in my sheltered Milky Way
In Saturn's rings I feel no pain.

In my heart, in my head
Oh, Saturn Girl has always bled
No you're not, from this world
Saturn Girl.

I can't explain, why I don't belong to the same world
I don't fit in, and I will not stay.
I want to fly, oh I long for my violet skies
My astral nights, my peace of mind.

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Lost in another world, oh Saturn, Saturn Girl.
Saturn Girl, I'd rather be lost in my empyrean world
Than be down on earth.

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Everybody tries to break my dreams to break through,
They don't believe in my words, they don't believe in my world.
"Oh you're lost in another world,
Oh you're lost you Saturn Girl, oh you crazy girl,
Oh you Saturn Girl"...

Chorus

Watch the woman's hands as she cultivates the land,
As she plants the seed, as she's on her knees.
Watch her fingers smile as she holds the little child,
As she holds him, as she holds him.

Watch the woman's hands as she holds her children back,
From the danger, from the danger.
Watch how they fight to keep the family tight
Together, together.

Oh we need her, oh we need her.
Oh we need her, oh we need her.

Watch the woman's hands, as she talks to the man,
As he talks down to her, as he tells her.
He doesn't understand, he doesn't see the fisted hands
Clenched tightly, angrily.

Oh we need her, oh we need her.
Oh we need her, oh we need her.

Pulling on the apron strings looking up
Standing on the chair to be grown up
I feel so little, I need my pillow
I hate the time, I hate the clock
I want to be a dog or I want to be a rock

Sunday's pancakes Miss Mary Mack
Color Polariods show my heart attack
In my second-hand pants and dusty shoes
The day that the playground laughed at my shoes

It's my birthday next week and what I want please
Is to turn on the heat so the fish won't freeze
The fish in the tank froze and died last week
Oh I want to be a dog or I want to be a leaf

Quarry miners, fishermen
In my town of Bethlehem
Picket fences, church at ten
No star above my Bethlehem

Now I'm only 16 and I think I have an ulcer
I'm hiding my sex behind a dirty sweatshirt
I've lost five pounds these past few days
Trying to be class president and get straight A's, well,
Who gives a shit about that anyway?
I want to be a dog or a lump of clay

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Still I'm tired of standing still
Tired of living - still
Everyday I dream of leaving

Everybody's talking about Becky's bust
The boys on the basketball team just fuck
The same ten girls, who don't know who they are
They're looking for some comfort in the back of a car
The six-packs of beer, the locker room jeers
I don't want to be me, I don't want to be here

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Red brick schoolhouse, dead end dirt roads, daffodils
No star above my Bethlehem

I want to be a dog or I want to be a rock
I don't want to be me, I don't want to be here
Bethlehem

Goya and El Greco, Gaugin and Van Gogh
Painted light in the darkness, chiaroscuro
Imagine we were a painting
A woman and a man,
Two lovers on a canvas
On is white, one is black.

Darkness and light will be married tonight in chiaroscuro
Your body on mine - two colors combined in chiaroscuro

Vermeer and Velazquez, Rembrandt and Rousseau
Painted perfect union, chiaroscuro
The man and the woman
The knife and the spoon
The xylem and the phloem
The sun and the moon

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How we lived a secret life from racist eyes
You said I couldn't understand you anyway I tried

But in this moment together, in our secret unity
Our skins become the still life, our souls epiphany

Why do you think she wears those black boots...
Why do you think she dyes her hair black...

She's awfully insecure
She's trying to be cool
She's hoping to be more in those,
black boots.

Why do I think I wear those black boots...
Why do I wear three pairs of black boots...

I feel a little stronger
I feel a little taller
I identify with the color
I like myself in these
black boots.

Oh John, oh John, oh John

Never lose the memory of April twenty-six
Your hands designed my body
You autographed my hip
I lost all my worry
I lost all sense of time
My fears evaporated
When you held me in your oh my god and

Oh John, in a New York hotel room
In a truck off the back road
Southwest of Chicago
Oh John, in a New England fairground
on a lawn in the backyard
in a town in Colorado, oh
Oh John, oh John, oh John

Saturate my consciousness with sweet elixir wine
Your body is the chalice your spirit is the vine
I lose all my worry
I lose all sense of time
My fears evaporate
When you hold me in your oh my god and

Chorus

And everytime I see the ocean you're there
And everytime I see the forest you're on my mind
In my life, flooding me with memories like

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Walking the mountain is easy for the medicine
Man who follows makes sure the Indian
Never returns

His revenge, his revenge
Rising
His revenge, his revenge
Rising

White is the man with the pen who's writing the story
of life

Our revenge, our revenge, rising
Our revenge, our revenge, rising
Our revenge, our revenge, rising
Our revenge, our revenge, rising, rising, rising

Tell me how the story will unfold,
I know you see everything.
Tell me all about the torch and scroll,
I know you know everything.

So why do you come to me?
Why when I'm sleeping?
Why am I the only one who knows you're there?
Why, why?

My dear, my dear Gertrude,
My dear, lonely soul,
My dear, my dear Gertrude,
My dear, my dear, my dear.

Tell me all about your history,
Tell me all about your pains.
Try to contact all your lost loved ones,
Try to speak to them through me.

So why do you come to me?
Why when I'm sleeping?
Why am I the only one
who knows you're there?
Why, why?

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You're so lonely in my body,
I can sympathize your pain.
But the secret is too much
for me to hold,
No, no one will believe.

Little boy, tries to hide,
From the fire in his backyard.
Burning cross, white cloth,
It's the second time this year.

Hitler's brothers are still alive,
They're wearing everyday disguises.

A woman runs, for asylum,
She's the only one of her kind in this neighborhood.
She knows who they were,
They don't believe a word,
The cops just turn their heads to protect their friends.

Hitler's brothers are still alive,
Their army seems to grow in size,
Hitler's brothers are on the rise,
They're wearing everyday disguises.
...In camouflage or business suits.

Another man, bound and gagged,
Tied upon the railroad tracks.
At nine p.m. the B&M (Boston & Maine)
Rolled across his yellow skin

Hitler's brothers are still alive,
Their army seems to grow in size,
Hitler's brothers are on the rise,
They're wearing everyday disguises.
In camouflage or business suits,
Checkered aprons, combat boots,
Time to let those feelings go,
Hatred only kills your souls.

She was on the floor, her face was in her mother's arms.
She had said that she'd been out late with the boys.
Just another evening, like every other evening
Everything is all the same it seems.

Danny always called her on the phone for no special reason,
apparently,
He could never tell her what it was, he suffered silently,
quitely.

Just another evening, but his hands just couldn't be still,
He can't control it and he cannot tell her why,
Feel the beaded knuckles, feel the snap inside,
See the rush of terror in her eye,
She can't feel it
She can't feel it
She can't feel anything anymore

He tried painfully, he begged for her forgiveness on his knees,
She gave gracefully, but inside,
but inside,
She still bleeds.

Here I am, a black-eyed bird, remaining silent.
I simply watch, your little life from high above.
Wanting to call you, wanting to sing,
Inside your ears and lips and eyes and soul,
I dig my grave, behind the gates of Babylon.

There's a Garden of Eden
In your distant heart,
Garden of Eden
In your earthly arms.

Here I stand, a serpent queen of the garden.
I'm beckoning, but you ignore my siren song.
Oh I long, to touch you, to step inside your sacred gate.
I'll dig my grave in the middle of golden bible snake.

There's a Garden of Eden
In your distant heart,
Garden of Eden
In your earthly arms.

The black-eyed bird is dying,
The queen is dead,
She'll never step foot in Eden.

There's a Garden of Eden
In your distant heart,
Garden of Eden
In your earthly arms.

Climbing, climbing, climbing, climbing...

Look, at how futile this is,
I'm so weak, so fragile, so torn.
Going round and round, going inside
To the circle, to the ladder, to the sky

I am climbing a ladder of urgency
Climbing a ladder of hope
Climbing a ladder of my emotions
Climbing a ladder of unraveling rope.

You see, what you want to see,
But I'm not, what you wanted, no I'm not.
I am only one thing, one thing I see,
One thing I feel.

Chorus

Climbing...
I am only one thing, one thing I see, one thing I feel
I am the ladder.