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Megan Slankard




Альбом Megan Slankard


Lady Is A Pirate (2001)
2001
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. . .



Maybe I can't bend all the way
Without breaking slightly
But I tell thee truly I was not born
With the string that winds me tightly

But I guess bad habits are born
Don't look so forlorn

If I cannot reach you, I will impeach you
And tell you you've done me harm
So I misjudged you, so sorry I was wrong
It was a false alarm

I guess we bear well all them scars
We point out yours now to hide ours

So we're stranded on the ground
Yes, we're stranded on the ground
On the ground

Nature's lovely face has been marred
Now we'll do it to mars

When we've landed on the ground
When we've landed on the ground
On the ground

I love thee dearly but me thinks I broke thy heart
It is love we're supposed to foster
I put yours in my pocket, left it in the dark
And I think it went through the washer
You may go on like few men
But I'll have to do it again

So I've landed on the ground
Yes I've landed on the ground
On the ground

. . .



He said, "practice Electra
You might need me someday
Though the wind blows your hair, tugs you around
I know you won't blow away"
Yes, my name is Electra
And I'm a talk-aholic
But I get kinda quiet on days when I'm feeling
Especially sad or melancholic

He said, "practice laughing at my jokes
They don't all make you cringe
Practice crying when I leave you
It'll give me something to drown in"

He said, "c'mon an' smile at me
Don't treat me like an invader
Practice, Electra
You might need me later

Yes, my name is Electra
And I check my e-mail every fifteen minutes
But I never go to rambunctious parties
'Cause I have my limits
He said, "practice, Electra
You might need me later
You've tried to say goodbye, goodbye
But you just say see ya later alligator"

He said, "practice smiling when I love you
It doesn't seem right when you're smirking
Practice asking for reasons
When you feel this ain't working

Oh c'mon Electra, don't treat me like an invader
C'mon and smile at me, don't treat me like that invader
Yes, my name is Electra, and who knows, I might need you later

. . .



Strictly Mr. Thompson goes to work everyday
Except Saturdays, Sundays, and national holidays
—He leaves at three
He used to leave at four
But the commute over the Altamont
Was too much for him
—Cars blocked all possible exits and escape was unlikely

Well, today he slammed the sleep button down so hard
The radio sounded just like chip and dale
He said, “I refuse to go on this way
I need a little holiday
I'll be back in a few hours honey!”
And he hopped into the automobile

He said, “bye baby!
Good day hey!”

Strictly Mr. T pulled over to the rest stop
For one to smoke a cigarette (though he quit)
And for another 'cause he lost his way
But hell the view was beautiful
He called her on the cell phone
but it kept going in and out of analog roam and so he said

“Bye baby!
Good day hey!”

Strictly Mr. T goes to work everyday
Except Saturdays, Sundays, and “I can't take it days”
His boss doesn't seem to mind as long as T works overtime
It will not get deducted from his pay from his pay

“From your pay and have a good day!”
Bye baby!
Bye baby!
Good day hey!”

. . .



“First of all,” he said, “what is this?
Are you trying to make my heart beat faster
Or are you trying to stop it?”
I pretend I do not know
Maybe you talk too fast
Or maybe it's just too slow
“What in the world,” I said, “do you do?
First you say, 'take it all'
Then you say there's nothing left for you”

Tonight
Nothing tonight”

Then he sighed like every night
“You always treat me good
But you just never treat me right
Don't get me wrong, I hope you know
You can stick around
As long as you never ever go

Please drop me a line
Tune in tonight”
Damn, I love, I love your life
Damn you, I love your lies sometimes

It's funny how you get so mad
You just cannot stand me
But I'm really not that bad
And some days between two and four
I might broadcast my love
Right to your door

So tune in tonight
I'll drop you a line
I'll drop you a line
Drop you a line
Damn, I love, I love your eyes
Damn you, I love your lies sometimes

. . .



It's still kinda early to watch the sun go rising anyway
Even if it rises this time everyday
It's still kinda early to watch the engine spit and cough
And heaven knows this plane might not even take off
I would have written sooner, my pen is on the paper
But I just couldn't decide how to end it
So I think I'll do it later
I know I might have hurt you
But I know that you're still young
And I hope that you'll forgive me
Even if you have to tug the air into your lungs hard

So I talk to myself like every normal man
In the state of confusion
Feel the wrath of my own reprimands
And I cry to myself like every normal baby
It helps me get to sleep and get a “yes” or “no” from “maybe”

So I say fly now or climb down or ride on or go on home

I took my favorite cds and everything that's golden
In other words 14 dollars and that apple I had stolen
I really had no idea this tomorrow happened a full year ago
Time flies like an arrow but sometimes arrows fly so slowly
You know that I'm no angel
But a perfect fool when it gets down
And too bad I can't get paid for that
'Cause I'd be a millionaire by now
I rack my brain out endlessly not heeding the decoys
But still every now and then I still have to flip a coin

So I lie to myself like every normal woman
When I'm feeling insecure
When I feel like nothing's going on
And I laugh at myself like every normal child
When I'm scared to the core or if I feel kinda wild

So I say fly now or climb down or ride on or go on home
Bye now or hey now or you now or no one

So I smile to myself like every normal human
When I think I've decided
That nothing can be ruined

So I say fly now
And climb down
Right on
Go on run

. . .



I'm being hopelessly optimistic—you're an honest crook
The poor reputation your love gets should make you look
It gets pretty ugly
I'm clearly misunderstood
I'm second best and that's pretty good

I need extra time to see
If those plastic glasses are half full or half empty
It's a sure bet my life's an organized mess
But I'm second best and that's pretty good

I have drawn a
I've drawn a
I've drawn a blank
All those years I was getting old
I can't remember though I must have been told
I was your only one a million times
If you told me once it was a lie

It's after dark
Must be light again
'Twas a near miss
Must have hit 'em
He took everything all that glittered
He said “now then, we mustn't be bitter”

It's a little big, but I guess my dream's okay
I can make it if I start today
We're alone together in this relation
Don't feel real, must be a genuine imitation

I have drawn a
I've drawn a
I've drawn a blank
All those years I was getting old
I can't remember though I must have been told
I was your only one a million times
If you told me once it was a lie

Fuzzy logic, you say, but who really cares
It's an exact estimation everywhere
I didn't realize but it's no good to be mad
I'm second best and that's pretty bad

. . .



These walls are 'specially thin
I guess I paid for the room that I'm in
Hear the neighbors fight in the hall
Turn up this song 'til someone bangs on the wall
“Hey! cut that out!” “hey! turn that down!”

I said, “what's up? how's it goin'? what's been happening my man? yo!”
But what I really meant to say was just “hello”
I said, “things been good, things been great, I've been having a good time!”
When you asked me how I was
Actually I'm fine

I have not been down
I have not been down

The train goes by this complex
At a quarter to four and a quarter to six
I guess I'm just sluggish tonight
I slept through the rain, the alarm, and the neighbors' fights

I have not heard a sound

Either someone's out washing their car
Or I hope it isn't raining too hard

I've got a plastic plant in my room
They don't let you have real ones 'cause I guess they pollute
I really love this cool time of year
I really wish you'd wish you were here
I'm either 15 minutes late and I'll whine
Or maybe for a change the clock is on time

Either someone's out there singing in the rain
Or they're taking a bath while getting air play
Either someone's out there smiling or the sun's out there
Either you folks bought me a new car
Or the rain washed it and you don't care

When I wake I guess I'll call sick and play hurt
It's too perfectly fine morning to waste at work
I don't like to complain but these are the facts
I'd rather eat spam than pay the tax

I have not been down, I have not been down
I have not been down, I have had a little luck
I have not, I have not, I have not been down. . .
I just have not been up

. . .



I turned on the radio just the other day
I let out a holler, I let out a hey
Something's wrong here, but I've paid my dues
My favorite radio station stopped playing the blues

Now I can't eat
I can't sleep
Nothing to hum to
Can't tap my feet . . .

No more Jimmy Vaughan, Clapton's off too
No more muddy waters, Lord what can I do?
I'd send in a letter, but I can't complain
I feel so cloudy it looks like rain

I can't smile
Can't keep the beat
Nothing to hum to
can't tap my feet. . .

No one to help me cry
No one to sympathize
My radio station and i
We had good times

I've been crying so I lost my voice
I lost my man to a little girl from Detroit
My CD player don't work anymore
Now I'm even worse off than I was before

Now I can't eat
I can't sleep
Nothing to hum to
Can't tap my feet . . .

No one to help me cry
No one to sympathize
My radio station and I
We had good times

I can't smile
You wouldn't too
If your favorite radio station
Stopped playing the blues

. . .



Hello, it's me again
I tried to call you yesterday
I tried a couple times before
But another call got in the way
I think I know that you're at home
It makes me unsure, it makes me wonder
The message I left must have been unclear
Because I haven't changed my number
Hello, it's me again
I forgot to tell you all along
Um, just wanted you to know I'm sorry
If anything I did was wrong

It's about Friday isn't it
I mean I didn't mean to speak like that
Or maybe it's about the time I scratched your car
Could it be what I said to you mom?
I always go and say something wrong
I'm trying to please you, but it's kind of hard

Hey, it's me again
I know you need time to think
Or is it just time to be alone
While you go over and under this thing
Leave no stone unturned
In fear I might be hiding
It's a clever way to make sure of something
Without really fighting
Hey, it's me again
Please pick up the phone
I don't think that it's technical
Because I paid the bills and there's a dial tone

It's about Friday, isn't it
I mean I didn't mean to pull you down
I didn't mean to speak like that
Is it the way I answered you?
I yelled and screamed – could be that too
But I'd really like to know
Why don't you call me back
It's about Friday, isn't it
I mean how could I go and pull a stunt like that
Or is it about the time I spilled red wine on your lap?
It's about the Bombay weekend
I went scuba diving with your best friend
Or is it when I threw the rock and made the bees attack?

Hello, it's me again
Call me back

. . .



Down by the Mississippi, buried in the mud
Is a five page oath and a bottle of wine
It's engraved in steel, it's written in blood
As far as I can tell, the blood is mine
I swear and I cry, “I can't let this secret down!”
But it's best to let things lie buried in the ground

Up in the canyon's little leaf ledge
Is my twisted brain and a crying rain
There's a box of lightning, there's a box of lead
But there's a pail of hope next to my bottle of pain

Gov'ner if the sun goes down
Amazing grace I will have found
'Cause I need time to resolve this feud
If I don't have time I might shoot

It's my great granddaddy and my daddy's kin
They fell hell bent towards you and you against him
I don't know you'd better ask them
I don't know why, I don't know how
I just carry on the tradition

Gov'ner if I am so crazy as to raise this here gun
Oh Lord in Heaven have mercy on this one
Mother, rage and hate have made me blind
I carry on, my neighbor, I don't even know why

It's here in the saddle bag, my grandma's gold
I ride to dawn on my lightning mare
It's just like a story that's always been told
It's like I don't need a reason and like I don't even care

I swear and I cry, “I can't let this secret down!”
But it's best to let it lie buried in the ground

Gov'ner you must realize
It's just the family name that makes me blind
Oh God, please brainwash me, scold me too
If I don't forgive, or at least forget
I will continue with this feud
Continue with this feud
Just like a cartoon
It's just a family feud
And as I end this tune

. . .



As I sat the moon started rising
I'm swinging on the rocking chair
It's kinda dark on the horizon
But that's only 'cause the sun ain't there
As I sat the moon started rising
And I remembered like it were yesterday
It was kinda dark beyond the horizon
He had come to take me away

I don't know, I don't know of course
I don't know I don't know why life is so short

As I stood the moon started rounding
She saw him dismounting his horse
In the dark he led himself by starlight
To the porch and from the far lights of the storm
And as she stood the moon started rounding
Her heart started pounding like a fist on the door
From the dark she heard her name that he was saying
And that's what she was waiting for

I don't know, I don't know if it's tame enough there
I don't know, if I go, will I miss it out here

She would go but doubt slowly killed it
Where her love just could not fill it up again
And he just knew he didn't have to ask her
He did not run it past her if this were the end

So she walked here hair flowing behind her
As a gentle reminder that she was only a child
And it was dark but he gently kissed her
He knows he won't forget her with a hint of a smile
And as she cried he cast back a shadow behind him
And it did remind him that there were stars up there too
And it was dark but he gently kissed her
I'm so sorry I could not accompany you

I don't know, I don't know why it just wouldn't be
I don't know I don't know why I couldn't be company
I don't know I don't know
I don't know I don't know

. . .



I paced the room, I paced the floor
I heard him calling, I unlocked the door
And he paced the room
With elegance and with distress
And with long strides and i
I paced the floor, I paced the room
Stopped at the ceiling
To smile at you

He said, “I cannot help it!”
And not even under his breath
Na na na na na na
Da da da da da da
“I cannot help it
I hate to be selfish
Just can't help it
I want you all

I cannot stop you
My mind will not drop you
Yes I want you, I want you all
By myself”

And I said, “I hoped you would”

I watched him pace, I watched his face
He passed the window which my eyes rested on
I saw both streets, and where they meet
Then I heard him say after long

“I cannot help it!”
And not even under his breath
Na na na na na na
Da da da da da da
I cannot help it
I hate to be selfish
Just can't help it
I want you all

I cannot stop you
My mind will not drop you
Yes I want you, I want you all
By myself”


. . .



On my knees
Not that you can help me
I have changed a flat before
And I have gotten dirty

I ain't no faker
I'm as sweet as I am rotten
I might even laugh at myself
I have not forgotten

That I am king of under-a-dollar stores
I know you've seen it all before
But I know it by heart
And I live in—not in a trailer park
But in a caboose in the backyard

I am a bandit, I don't think you want me
Just add a pirate to a lady
I am a bandit, I don't think you need me
Just add a jester to a gypsy

Don't try to make me different
Or find what makes me tick
Last person tried to change me
I still taste it in my spit

Sun dips in a cool breeze
Sweat drips from your nose
You think I'm full blooded crazy
From my head down to my toes

I am king of losing coins in slot machines
But I will live until it kills me
And I live in timid smiles and bold dreams
And I will cry until I bleed

I am a bandit, I don't think you want me
Just add a pirate to a lady
I am a bandit, I don't think you need me
You just give independence to a baby

And I am king of enduring everlasting nights
Of losing sleep by winning these fights
And receiving only dirt
And I give crooked smiles
To the never ending search
I'm made of mud,
I need someone that is made of earth


. . .


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