(Written by Roger Miller)
Chorus:
Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out 'twould take many years
I once had a sweetheart, the fairest of maidens
She outshined all others that I'd known by far
I had a friend, a big fella, named big Harlan Taylor
Harlan had a rubber-tired, new shiny car
Chorus:
Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out 'twould take many years
By the wants of a woman she fell for big Harlan
I tried, but in vain, for to take my own life
Suddenly I had lost all my will to keep livin'
She lost her desire to become my young wife
Chorus:
Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out 'twould take many years
I wanted revenge and waylaid for big Harlan
Then I started wondrin' what good would it do
If a rubber-tired, new shiny car's her ambition
Then she can just have it and big Harlan, too
Chorus:
Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman
If I figured them all out 'twould take many years
If I figured them all out it would take many years...
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