Good morning, dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To watch two people we know make a big mistake
They'll stand up at the alter
And solemnly swear i do
They'll be together forever
'til they find somebody new
Her daddy's in the front row
Muttering oh no here we go again
They had a couple dates
Now she's three months late
And it's twenty buck a plate i spent, oh:
Good morning, dearly beloved
I'd like to welcome ya'll
To see the side-effects of sex and alcohol
Please bow your heads and join me
In a prayer for these two
Who'll be together forever
'til they find somebody new
The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse
As he's putting the ring on her
He's checking out the bridesmaids
Thinking that he might take
The maid of honor's honor, oh:
Welcome, dearly beloved
We are here this afternoon
To throw rice as these two
Drive down the road to ruin
With cans tied to the bumper
And a dragging muffler too
They'll be together forever
Until they find somebody new
So raise your glass and join me
Here's to the bride and groom
They'll be together forever
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