Альбом Danger Doom

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[MF Doom]
Two two
One two, two two ("Uh-uh, uh-uh")
One one ("Y'all ain't gon' cut my front but")
("'Less I get one of them, sport")
("Sport radio thangs with the earbuds")

The super flow more stupider than Richard Pryor
Combine with Bazooka Joe jokes, to spit fire
Eat MC's like El Chupa Nibre
Except for when I defeat and knock they beat off eBay
Danger in the street, shootin at a DJ
Doom countin chickens like the Colonel on D-Day
"We 'bout to fry, so burn 'em all" he say
Villain gettin paid off the same joint three ways
... You rang? "Can you spare some sugar?"
By his right ear was a smear and a booger
Pour my coffee, he replied "Of coursely"
Spilt two on the mask whispered "Eww get it off me"
His money chunk he couldn't spare a thin dime
Once was in a rhyme crew - monkies into crime
What happened? He coulda went platinum
Then he discovered the secret plan they had to gat him
... It wasn't hard to find the file to pull
They had they differences, all irreconcilable
And that's a pile of bull - they're bad
That's why they don't tell no tales, don't wear plaid
His upper lip and dome stayed stiff
I made him try to riff over a homemade gift
A statue with overfoam chrome sprayed Kif
With a handwritten signature from dude who played Biff
The Simpsons, but "Back to the Future Part II"
And leave it up to you, to choose who
When he cruise through, he know how you foolsies do
Get a cat to dreamin and you cream him like a Suzie Q
He said "{Fuck you, bitch} you don't know me
Watch I bring the truck through, switch like you owe me"
If you in luck, I get richer off you, blow me
Dumile got her like Inuyasha got Kagome
Well, now what do we got here
Miscommunication, can lead to hot beer
Although he's not here, his agenda was clear
Clearly a big spender, who wears a lot of gear
Doom the Great, no low self-esteem
Got to go get the wealth growin green gleam
He make it seem mean as a pre-teen choir head
Sire said, the first time he seen Firehead
The squire, what about Barbera?
Closer than it seems like in the car mirror
Dancers turn gangsta, what be surely wilder
His student was a cell buddy, name of Early Cuyler

[Squidbillies]
WHERE'S MY DAMN CHICKEN?!

[Sheriff]
Damn! Well y'know that boy can PERM!
How much do I owe ya?
[phone hangs up]

"Baby's got a 12-pack!"

[Sherman the Giraffe]
How's about we go back to the Bay Area and get some crabs?

[Young Man, "King of All Animals"]
Let's see how the judges react... judges?
[silence] Come on judges, react!

[MF Doom]
... The forest is very misty
And help to provide for the switching sides of Terry or Twisty
Or, Model Robot, who got more grease
Sherman stinks so put some hot sauce on your niece
(or what?) Or Nephew, I hope he got a 12 for his sake
Made a wrong turn into a hole, hell of a mistake
Animals in the car had made a piss lake
Must of interferred with the wiring on the disc brakes
(Yeah) It makes for good bar time rec talk
Shoulda used the hamburger necklace from off his neck stalk
From South Africa to Applachi Cola
Bump into the wrong batch of snatch, catch the ebola
("Does what have what?") Beefin with Norman Douglas
Waitin until he catch him in the street, roamin thugless
And Rod, the self-proclaimed anime God
By the way could sure use a can of Bay scrod
Sherman eats seeds like humans eat veal
He means real human seeds, not no bloomin wheat meal
That man in the cat suit can sure hold a gat
Think he work for that dude, "The Evil Controller of Cats"
A ceasefire was negotiated under the gun
between General Meow and Commander Bun
He thought it was the hand, it was the joke what stunk

[Brenda]
I was, too drunk!
I woke up drunk, weren't you?

[Gerald]
Ha, I'm too young to drink! [bear roars]

[Young Man, "King of All Animals"]
{*baby cries*} Augh
First I get trapped in a hole with smelly animals who bicker
Then my hand is severed
Now I have to care for a drunk baby!

[Sherman the Giraffe]
W-w-w-we can eat that

[MF Doom]
If the new shoes fit better than the old ones, rock 'em black

[Catman]
I'm gonna pick up some cold ones and knock 'em back
[crowd laughs and applauds]

[Williams Street "Skull" sound effect] [beat to fade]

[MF Doom]
One one
Two two, two

To get the dough, the Villain'll flow off of Stella D'oro
and water go off the head for the slaugter you bet your daughter
That liquor only gets you sick quicker
Take it from a honorary member, of Spitkicker
I know it's hot up in that suit with the curly 'fro
I'd rather write all night until the early show
We don't suggest you let your girly go alone
Come home all glowin with the the pearly glow
It was the super, a.k.a. super sperm
Hit her in the chin, told her rub it in like lubriderm
Finished, oh let spaz go next
Who's fault is it if her face taste like Vasiplex
... It ain't funny
Ever since a young'un sonny, take the money
His first business made each day a grand
His only comp, shorty with the spiked lemonade stand
That's how he ran his hustle
He came with a plan that took least amount of muscle
Two for one, dime frogs for the lickin
And all you can eat, "Corn dogs for the pickin"

... A seemingly modest fellow
With a DJ's ear and graffiti artist's elbow
Nose of a Mouse and the brain of two weasels
Discovered a name and new strain of the measles
He say you accidentally caught it
In sole circles and dots to those who could afford it
Once you squeezed his face through the gate
and got stuck, too much fake soy-based cheese product
Did a scheme and was in it for the Aspercreme
Slashed your team, let's see who can make Casper scream
Down to the last marine
See him as your cable man, sizin up your plasma screen
Instead of doin the jux with pistols
Or workin in the back, cookin sacks of crystals
Or runnin on logs out in deep water kickin
"Corn dogs for the pickin"

Whattup to all you dedicated dads
As stated, rap sucks Tux medicated pads
And these rappers need to gather their belongings
Or get wrapped up in they extra long thong strings
For singin the wrong things
Ain't no delayin, you playin with the Pong king
A nerd with insight and a Urkel smirk
Purposefully misplaced an invite to your circle jerk
... A bunch of men in cyphers
Fake you out tough guys and make pretend lifers
It's still a few loose screws in his face
Turn away as he pulled a phrase out his usual place
... Combination jewel case
Almost popped open if it wasn't for the cruel space
Critics talkin slick chicken shit to sick men
"Corn dogs for the pickin"

Danger Doom

[skit from 12 Oz. Mouse]
Sometimes all the capitals
They don't know if you're yellin at me or not
(Damn) Well not yet
Mouse, whatever
You a mouse or uh.. (or what?)
Or hell I don't know, just thought you were a mouse or somethin
I mean you look like a damn mouse... THE mouse (maybe)

(Who are you?)
I'm the freakin corn dog king!

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[BillyWitchDoctor.com]
Please, read from sheets
I am...

[Aqua Teens + Carl]
I am...

[BWD] Sofa, King...
[ATF] Sofa King

[MF Doom]
Scared of a bunch of water, then get out the rain
Order a rapper for lunch and spit out the chain
Then kick a lungee of the tip of his Timbo
And trick a honey dip into a game of of strip limbo
Odd - he couldn't find no remorse
A wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse
Of course his technique was from a divine source
Never new the price of ice, or what swine cost
One guy tried to bite the heat
That's when he discovered the other other white meat
Ohhhh! The one they hate so well
He sure keeps it pyscho like the old Bates Motel
They came to ask him for at least some new tracks
But only got confronted by the beast with two backs
Knock - Mouse is a made man
Villain laid it down like the best laid plan
Belle the Cat, who the hell is that near the middle
Got y'all but it's not all beer and Skittles
Prepare the vittles, got riddles and spittles
Crystal clear to the jock, or the tittle
Sssst! It's hot off the griddle
Came to take the cake whether it's a lot, or a little
Kaboom; Doom is nervous large
You could tell by his blooming room service charge
... Dark and tall to boot
The only thing was wrong was he was bald as a klute
Used to rent a van from Peter Pan, the red and tan
And keep the human foot for his dead man's hand
This was when the mask was brand spankin new
Before it got rusted, from drankin all the brew
[sniffing] Stankin too, pew
Kept all his earnings in the bank and his shoe
Spat what he knew, energy for true
To all fake rappers, twenty-three skidoo
Excuse you, any room in the class front?
For a blast of the blunt, shroomin since last month
Doom a human in the Mask, born to stunt
Danger zoomin past mad fast on the hunt
Keep your streets, we got the city neatly conquered
Discretely with the CD 'til they be completely bonkered
The fans demanded it, handled it, swallow it
His own brand of {shit}, if only he could bottle it
Hmm... nah she could get messy
The feds tried to tortuee him for the secret recipe
He said it's no use, I only know half
No speaka de english, I only do the math
... BZZT! Felt no pain
His brain was saturated with cocaine and Rogaine
He said - try scan, no thing, three-card dead
Fly man go for bling, he got bled
I jam over sting, see spots red
I am "Sofa King, We Todd Ed"

[ATF] We, Todd, Ed
[BWD] Now repeat all, very fast please
[ATF] I am, Sofa King
[BWD] Faster
[ATF] I am Sofa King We Todd Ed
[BWD] No no, not so fast, loses meaning
[ATF] I am so {fucking} retarded
[BWD] Hohohohohoho, you say, funny thing!

[Intro]
Every space man knows you just gotta have Space Ho's
Every space girls know it
You get a big delight, in every bite
Delicious, cream-filled, Space Ho's, taste out of this world
With luscious creamy inside, soft cake outside
You get a big delight, in every bite
Yup, smart space men always have plenty of good Ho's
Whever they go, Ho's!

[MF Doom]
How they gave his own show to Tad Ghostal
Any given second he could go mad postal
Stay wavin that power band space cannon
And have the nerve to jump in the face, of Race Bannon
And punked out; luckily he deaded it
And guess who's the schmuck whose credited with editing it?
Your man Moltar, the cop out
Ain't have no other career choice, he dropped out
Since when the Way-Outs included Zorak
Way back he used to rub his thorax in Borax
I'm not the one that sold him to it
If he won't admit it, I'm not gonna hold him to it
It's all love and no hate though
For all that, the Villain need to get his own late show
Do a monologue and jest with the guests
Madlib, switch the beat and walk him to the desk
With Danger holding down the control room
Late again returning from commercial - I told you Doom!
Early, he's on B.P.T.
Catch him on public access free TV
And we're back, live on the air with Brak
So Brak, how your man got a show that's so whack?
And have you ever thought to work with Err and Ignignokt an' them?
And do you got enough oxygen from this toxic phlegm?
Another sec', his neck woulda got flames
Mouse switched the screen to some hot dames
Tonight's audience will receive miscreant video games
And fifteen seconds of fame - pitiful lames!
It's just a shame; I'm zonin
Competin for the same prime time slot as Conan
No dummy, Ichigawa
Announcement free lunch to any stunt who lets me plow her
in the shower for an hour, the kids 'sposed to be asleep
Or else to join it sound like Road Runner - BEEP BEEP!
Later this week - Big Ben Klingon
After him there's no one else we could afford to bring on
Keep it ghetto
And let 'em know, B.Y.O.B. from the get go
[ahem] I'd like to propose a toast
To the grossest host, Space Ho's Coast to Coast
That destructo ray's a played out gag
And the cape and the pants suit, lookin like a straight out...
Dag! Don't mean to sound crunchy
Hit a honey from the back and crumpled up her scrunchie
A light snack, hungry munchie
Felt a funny hunch that she told him donkey punch me
Tomorrow it's Father Guido Sarducci
Father MC, and Charo "Coochie Coochie"
With her new best seller, "Who You Call a Hoochie?"
A proud sponsor of the snoochie boochie noochies
Look Leela eyeball to eyeballs
And find out how to get inside them sugar pie walls
Our next guest a real cutey specimen
And she's startin to get a little booty, Miss Judy Jetson
So Judy; boxers, briefs or fig leaf?
As you know I wear my boxers so my big... ohh!
Cue the rapper tell him bring what little he got
Up against the Villy, it's really not diddly-squat
Until they head hurts - when it come to wreck
Crews is like them dudes in red shirts off Star Trek
He Kirk, he Spock, he McCoy
Been b-boy, since you jerks first squeezed toys
Born to be the host with the most
When it's on it's on, Space Ho's Coast to Coast