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Ani DiFranco




Альбом Ani DiFranco


Little Plastic Castle (1998)
1998
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In a coffee shop in a city
Which is every coffee shop in every city
On a day which is every day
I picked up a magazine
Which is every magazine
Read a story, and then forgot it right away

They say goldfish have no memory
I guess their lives are much like mine
And the little plastic castle
Is a surprise every time
And it's hard to say if they're happy
But they don't seem much to mind

From the shape of your shaved head
I recognized your silhoutte
As you walked out of the sun and sat down
And the sight of your sleepy smile 
Eclipsed all the other people
As they paused to sneer at the two girls 
From out of town

I said, look at you this morning
You are, by far, the cutest
But be careful getting coffee
I think these people want to shoot us
Or maybe there's some kind of local competition here
To see who can be the rudest

People talk 
About my image
Like I come in two dimensions
Like lipstick is a sign of my decling mind
Like what I happen to be wearing 
The day that someone takes a picture
Is my new statement for all of womankind

I wish they could see us now
In leather bras and rubber shorts
Like some ridiculous team uniform
For some ridculous new sport
Quick someone call the girl police
And file a report

In a coffe shop in a city
Which is every coffee shop in every city
On a day which is every day

. . .



They were digging a new foundation in Manhattan 
They discovered a slave cemetery there 
And may their souls rest easy now that lynching has been frowned upon 
And we've moved on to the electric chair 

And I wonder who's gonna be president 
Tweedle dum or tweedle dumber? 
And who's gonna have the big
Blockbuster box office 
This summer 
How 'bout we put up a wall 
Between the houses and the highway 
And then you can go your way
And I can go my way

Except all the radios agree with all the TVs
And all the magazines agree with all the radios
And I keep hearing that same damn song 
Everywhere I go
Maybe I should put a bucket over my head 
And a marshmallow in each ear 
And stumble around for another dumb numb week 
For another hum drum hit song to appear

People used to make records 
As in a record of event
The event of people
Playing music in a room
Now everything is cross-marketing 
It's about sunglasses and shoes 
Or guns or drugs
You choose

We got it rehashed
We got it half-assed
We're digging up all the graves
And we're spitting on the past
And we can choose between the colors
Of the lipstick on the whores
Cuz we know difference
Between the font of twenty percent more
And the font of teriyaki
You tell me
How does it make you feel? 
You tell me what's real

And they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics 
Even when they're as dry as my lips for years
Even when they're stranded on a small desert island 
With no place in two thousand miles to buy beer
And I wonder is he different is he different
Has he changed 
What he's about
Or is he just a liar 
With nothing to lie about
I'm headed for the same brick wall
Is there anything I can do
About anything at all

Except go back to that corner in manhattan 
And dig deeper 
Dig deeper this time
Down beneath the impossible pain of our history
Beneath unknown bones 
Beneath the bedrock of the mystery 
Beneath the sewage system an the path train
Beneath the cobblestones and the water main
Beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals
Between the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels wheels
Beneath everything I can think of to think about
Beneath it all
Beneath all get out
Beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel

. . .



I heard the sound of your bike,
As your wheels hit the gravel,
Then your engine in the driveway 
Cutting off
And I pushed through the screen door
And I stood out on the porch
Thinking fight, fight, fight
At all costs, 
But instead I let you in, 
Just like I've always done
And I sat you down and offered you a beer
And across the kitchen table 
I fired several rounds,
But you were still sitting here 
When the smoke cleared.
And you came crawling back 
To say that you wanna
Make good in the end

And oh, oh, 
Let me count the ways 
That I abhor you,
And you were never a good lay
And you were never a good friend
But, oh, oh, what else can I say...
I adore you

All I need is my leather,
One t-shirt and two socks,
I'll keep my hands warm 
In your pockets 
And we can use the engine block,
And we'll ride out to California
With my arms around your chest,
And I'll pretend that this is real
'Cuz this is what I like best,
And you've been juggling two women
Like a stupid circus clown
Telling us both we are the one
And maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,
But you're not gonna stop me from having fun.
So let's go before I change my mind
I'll leave the luggage of all your lives behind
'Cuz I am bigger than everything that came before

And you were never very kind, 
And you let me way down every time
But oh, oh, oh what can I say...
I adore you

I heard the sound of your bike,
As your wheels hit the gravel, 
Then your engine in the driveway 
Cutting off

. . .



You can't hide behind social graces
So don't try to be all touchy feely
Cuz you've lie in my face of all places
But I got no problem with that really

What bugs me is that you believe what you're saying
What bothers me is that you don't know how you feel
What scares me is that while you're telling me stories 
You actually believe that they are real 

And I got no illusions about you
Guess what I never did
And when I said
When I said I'll take it
I meant
I meant as is

Just give up 
And admit you're an asshole
You would be in some good company
And I think you'd find that your friends would forgive you
Or maybe I am just speaking for me

When I look around 
I think this, this is good enough
And I try to laugh 
At whatever life brings
Cuz when I look down
I just miss all the good stuff
And when I look up
I just trip over things

I've got no illusions about you
Guess what i never did
When I say
When I say I'll take it
I mean
I mean as is

. . .



You were fresh off the boat from Virginia
I had a year in New York City under my belt
We met in a dream
We were both nineteen
I remember where we were standing
I remember how it felt
Two little girls 
Growing out of their training bras
This little girl breaks furniture 
This little girl breaks laws
Two girls together
Just a little less alone
This little girl cries wee wee wee
All the way home

You were always half crazy
Now look at you baby
Make about as much sense as a nursery rhyme
Love is a piano 
Dropped from a four story window
And you were in the wrong place 
At the wrong time
I don't like your girlfriend
I blame her 
Never seen one of your lovers 
Do you so much harm
I loved you first
And you know I would prefer 
If she didn't empty her syringes into your arm

Here comes little naked me 
Padding up to the bathroom door to find little naked you 
Slumped on the bathroom floor
So I guess I'll just stand here with my back against the wall 
While you distill your whole life down to a 911 call

Now you bring me your bruises 
So I can ooh and ah at the display 
Maybe I'm supposed to make one of my famous jokes that makes everything ok
Or maybe I'm supposed to be the handsome prince 
Who rides up and unties your hands
Or maybe I'm supposed to be the furrowed-brow friend 
Who thinks she understands

Here comes little naked me 
Padding up to the bathroom door to find little naked you 
Slumped on the bathroom floor
So I guess I'll just stand here 
With my back against the wall 
While you distill your whole life down to a 911 call

. . .



Cold and drizzly night in Chicago's deep dish
Flourescent light of the bathroom 
Shows my hands as they are
See and eyelash on my cheek 
Pick it off and make a wish
And walk back out into the bar
Wind at the windows 
Neon lights the patterned panes
The waitress wields the weight of her tray around her palm
The doorman cups his hands 
And lights his cigarette again
And the rain marches on

This is only a possibility in a world of possibilities
There are obviously there are many possibilities 
Ranging from small to large
Before long there will be short 
Before short there's nothing
When there was nothing 
There was always the possibility of something becoming what it is

Don't even bother trying to say something clever
Clever is as clever does no matter what it says
I'm looking for a sign that says you're for real this time
But I don't trust what's in your head
I walk up to the bar and point at the top shelf 
And then I throw my head back 
And laugh at myself
I raise a toast to all our saviors 
Each so badly behaved
It's too bad that their world 
Is the one that they saved

There's a spider spinning cobwebs 
From your elbow to the table
While my eyes ride the crowd in a secret rodeo
I smile with my mouth 
Lift my watch up to the light
And say oh, look, I have to go

Now you gotta dance with me
Now is when its gotta be
Cuz I can't wait for the dance floor to fill in
And if you wanna dance with me
I'll show you how it's gonna be
Cause I can't wait for the band to begin

. . .



You always got those dark sunglasses 
Covering up your face
But if you promise to take them off 
I promise I won't squander your gaze 
I will be picturesque
I will be nice
I won't do anything 
You can't tell your wife
I will think before I act
I will think twice
Just let me see your eyes

Each time we've spoke 
We've put in our token 
And ridden the tilt-a-whirl
And I was giggling and dizzy 
Flirting like a 12 year old girl
The carnival of you and me is coming to town
Watch how we spin and spin
And then fall down 
Now we just say hello 
And head for firmer ground 

You are the one-way glass that watches me 
Standing in line at the bank
I always looked into your glasses 
Like a cat looks into a fish tank
But all I could ever see was the specter of me reflected
I want a monument of friendship 
That we never had, erected 
I want it to take up lots of room
I want it to loom

You always got those dark sunglasses 
Between us when we talk
But after the party is over
If you wanna take a walk 
We could just look around not do nothing wrong
Just try to be at least as brave as our songs
I will bring my heart
I will bring my face 
Just name the time and place

. . .



I'm a pixie
I'm a paper doll
I'm a cartoon
I'm a chipper cheerful free-for-all
I light up a room
I'm a color-me-happy girl
Miss live and let live
And when they're out for blood
I always give

The man behind the counter looks like he's got
A half a dozen places he'd rather be
and furthermore it looks like he's prepared
To take it all out on me
Buddy, I don't really care what your problem is
Just don't make it mine
Come on kids, let's all hold hands 
And pretend we're having a good time

Maybe you don't like your job
Maybe you didn't get enough sleep
Well nobody likes their job 
Nobody got enough sleep
Maybe you just had 
The worst day of your life
But you know there's no escape 
And there's no excuse 
So just suck up and be nice
Be nice
Be nice 
Be nice... 

All the privileged white kids on TV playing at death
Branching their cold cuts with their ghostly make-up 
And their heroine breath
And all the little fishes are flapping wildly on their hooks
While all the top critics finally meaning in the telephone book

The little emperor has no clothes
So he can't come out to play
And besides which life is suffering
And he likes it that way
And the little guy is not so friendly 
But you know life has been cruel
So wipe that smile off your face baby
And try to be cool

Maybe you don't like your job
Maybe you didn't get enough sleep
Well nobody likes their job 
Nobody got enough sleep
Maybe you just had 
The worst day of your life
But you know there's no escape 
And there's no excuse 
So just suck up and be nice

Yeah, I would like to perfect the art
Be studiously aloof
Like life is just a boring chore 
And I am living proof
I could join forces with an army of ornery hipsters
But then I guess i'd be out of a job
So I guess that's out of the picture

Cuz I'm a pixie
I'm a paper doll
I'm a cartoon
I'm a chipper cheerful free for all
And I light up a room
I'm the color me happy girl
Miss live and let live
And when they're out for blood
I always give

. . .



I'm cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hands 
Feels like a little baby bird 
Fallen from the nest
I think that your body is something I understand
I think that I'm happy
I think that I'm blessed

But I've had a lack of inhibition
I've had a loss of perspective
I've had a little bit to drink 
And it's making me think 
That I can jump ship and swim 
That the ocean will hold me
That there's got to be more
Than this boat I'm in

They can call me crazy if I fail
All the chance that I need is one-in-a-million, 
And they can call me brilliant if I succeed
Gravity is nothing to me
I'm moving at the speed of sound
I'm just gonna to get my feet wet until I drown

I teeter between tired 
And really, really tired 
I'm wiped and I'm wired
But I guess that's just as well
Cuz I've built my own empire 
Out of car tires and chicken wire 
And now I'm queen of my own compost heap 
And I'm getting used to the smell

I've had a lack of information
I've had a little revelation 
I'm climbing up on the railing 
Trying not to look down
I'm going to do my best swan dive 
In the shark-infested waters
I'm gonna pull out my tampon 
And start splashing around

Cuz I don't care if they eat me alive
I've got better things to do than survive
I've got the memory of your warm skin in my hands
And I've got a vision of blue sky and dry land

I'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hands 
The ship is pitching and heaving
Our limbs are bobbing and weaving 
I think this is something I understand
I just need a couple vaccinations
For my far-away vacation
I'm going to go ahead and go boldly 
Cuz a little bird told me 
That jumping is easy
That falling is fun 
Right up until you hit the sidewalk
Shivering stunned

They can call me crazy if I fail 
All the chance that I need is one-in-a-million
And they can call me brilliant if I succeed
Gravity is nothing to me 
I'm moving at the speed of sound
I'm just gonna get my feet wet untill I drown

. . .



Sitting in my glass house while your ghost is sleeping down the hall. 
Watching the little birds fly kamikaze missions into the walls. 
Think I'm gonna stay in today, 
Sit on my couch and watch them fall. 
Life just keeps getting harder, 
Keeps getting harder to hide. 
Darker it is around me, 
Easier it is to see inside. 
And outside the glass the whole world is magnified, 
And it's barely an inch from here to the other side. 
Guess that push has come to this, 
So I guess this must be shove. 
But before you throw those stones at me, 
Tell me, what's your house made of? 
And before you'll know what I'm doing wrong, 
You're going to have to get in line. 
For the purposes of this song lets just say I'm doing fine. 
Sure, I'm doing fine. 
Trapped in my glasshouse,
Crowd has been gathering since dawn. 
Make a pot of coffee while a catastrophe awaits me out on the lawn. 
Think I'm going to stay in today, 
Pretend like I don't know what's going on. 
Seems that push has come to this, 
So I guess this must be shove.
But before you throw those stones at me, tell me, 
What's your house made of? 
And before you'll know what I'm doing wrong, 
You're going to have to get in line. 
For the purposes of this song lets just say I'm doing fine. 
Sure, I'm doing fine. 
Sitting in my glass house... Sitting in my glass house. 

. . .



We drove the car to the top of the parking ramp on the 4th of July. 
We sat out on the hood with a couple of 
Warm beers and watched the fireworks explode in the sky.
And there was an exodus of birds from the trees, 
But they didn't know, we were only pretending. 
And the people all looked up, 
And the birds flew around like the whole world was ending. 
And I don't think war is noble, 
And I don't like to think that love is like war, 
And I gotta big hot cherry bomb, 
And I want to throw it through the mail slit of your front door. 
Don't leave me here. 
I've got your back now, 
You'd better have mine. 
Cuz you say the coast is clear, 
But you say that all the time. 
So many sheep I quit counting. 
Sleepless and embarrassed about the way that I feel, 
Trying to make hills out of mountains, 
Building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal.
And did I tell you how I stopped eating when you stopped calling me? 
And I was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks, 
And pretending that I was finally free. 
Don't leave me here
Now that your back, 
You'd better stay this time. 
Cuz you say the coast is clear, 
But you say that all the time. 
We drove the car to the top of the parking ramp, 
On the 4th of July and I planted my dusty boots on 
The bumper and sat on the hood, and looked up at the sky.

. . .



You crawled into my bed like some sort of giant insect 
And I found myself spellbound that night at the sight of you there, 
Beautiful and grotesque and all the rest of that bug stuff 
Fluttering your way into my mouth, 
Behind my teeth, reaching for my scars. 
That night we got kicked out of two bars and laughed our way home. 
That night you leaned over and threw up into your hair. 
And I held you there thinking I would offer you my pulse 
If I thought it would be useful. 
I would give you my breath except the problem with death 
Is you have some hundred years and then they can build 
Buildings on our only bones. 
A hundred years and then your 
Grave is not your own. 
We lie in our beds and in our graves unable to save 
Ourselves from the quaint tragedies we invent, 
And then undo from the stupid circumstances we slalom through. 
And I realized that night that the hall light which seemed so 
Bright when you turned it on is nothing compared to the dawn, 
Which is nothing compared to the light which seeps from me 
While you're sleeping beautiful and grotesque, 
Resting cocooned in my room beautiful and grotesque,
Resting. 
That night we got kicked out of two bars and laughed our way 
Home and I held you there thinkin' I would offer you my pulse. 
I would give you my breath. 
I would offer you my pulse. 

. . .


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