. . .
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you're taking up lots of space
your shit is everywhere
your breath is all up in my face
your hands are swarming in the air
you're the first one out the car
and then the loudest one in the bar
tell me is there something wrong
girlfriend, what's with this new version of who you are
so she lifts her chin and
squints at me
to assess what I think I know
she says my heart has some dangerous neighborhoods
so beware where you try to go
and they say that the truth will set you free
but then again, so will a lie
it depends if you're trying to get to the promised land
or if you're just trying to get by
what is a camera but a box of light
what is a guitar but a box of sound
you think I don't understand
I think I might
what it is to
to harvest the emptiness
and just ride it around
and maybe your chest is an empty shell
with ribs of spiraling coral
where a perfect pearl of sadness resides
but if you ever need it here
I could come and press it there
and I could listen to the sound of the ocean inside
. . .
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no you didn't just leave
I actually kicked you out
I couldn't hardly believe
that the words came out my mouth
you couldn't hardly believe
what you heard yourself discuss
and you packed up all your things
and you said goodbye to us
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
hafta get it outta of the way of my love
hafta get it outta of the way of my love
and now there's nothing left to lose,
and the screen just says "Fini"
and each night in separate rooms
we cry separately
and every day we yell
down each other's holes
two slippery strippers
swinging round two poles
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
yeah there's something in the way of my love for you
yeah there's something in the way of my love
so we took down all the pictures
and then we took down all the walls
packed up our expectations
piled them in the hall
yeah we bagged our future
kicked it to the curb
and then we stood there unencumbered
and we stood there undeterred
cause we were done clinging
to the things we were afraid to lose
and the only thing left
was a breathtaking view
you looked at me
and I looked at you
and we said, "How about now,
"what you wanna do?"
now there's something in the way
in the way of my love for you
now there's something in the way
in the way of my love for you
I have to get it out the way
out the way of my love for you
I have to get it out the way
out the way of my love for you
no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave
. . .
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seems like you just
started noticing
how noticably bad things really are
and when you walked past this couple arguing
in a rolled up window
of a parked car
and all of that
gesticulated bitterness
and all of that
muffled yelling hell
its dark just starts wafting at you
like a big fury rat died
inside of that wall kinda smell
breathe like it's rolling like a cold front
thunder is thundering and lightening in tow
and your tiny little life gets
even smaller
as you heed the heaven's mighty show
and I don't mean heaven
like god-like
the animal in me knows very well
nature is our teacher, our leader, and our lover
and god is just another story that we tell
and you're trying not to grasp-not to start grasping
at straws -or sticks- or stones
just learn how to sit inside your sadness
even if you're sitting there alone
it's just like Icarus ascending
never intending to look back
nature's law and your tragic flaw
I find descending
flying into the arms of a Venus flytrap
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
. . .
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she was hungry
so hungry
she was trying to think clear
she kept opening the fridge door
staring at the mustard and the beer
then finally she went out into the rain
carrying her bicycle chain
and her feet were the pedals
while her appetite steered
and after that she just followed her nose
and fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows
she lay down in her party dress
and never got up
needless to say
she missed the party
she just got sad
then she got stuck
she was bending
like something brittle
trying hard to bend
she was numb
with the terror
of losing her best friend
we never see things changing
we only see them ending
and some vicious whispering voice kept saying
you have no choice
you have....
'cause when I look at you I squint
you are that beautiful
and my pussy is a tractor
and this is a tractor pull
and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between
thinking the glass is half-empty
and thinking it's not quite full
the pouring rain is no place for a bicycle ride
try to hit the brakes and you slide
slide
slide
slide
the pouring rain is no place for a bicycle ride
try to hit the brakes and you
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
. . .
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I walk in stride with people
much taller than me
and partly it's the boots but
mostly it's my chi
and I'm becoming transfixed
with nature and my part in it
which I believe just signifies
I'm finally waking up
and there's this moth outside my kitchen door
she's bonkers for that bare bulb
flying round in circles
bashing in her exoskull
and out in the woods she navigates fine by the moon
but get her around a light bulb and she's doomed
she is trying to evolve
she's just trying to evolve
now let's get talking reefer madness
like some arrogant government can't
by any stretch of the imagination
outlaw a plant
yes, their supposed authority over nature
is a dream
c'mon people
we've got to come clean
cuz they are locking our sons
and our daughters in cages
they are taking by the thousands
our lives from under us
it's a crash course in religious fundamentals
now let's all go to war
get some bang for our buck
I am trying to evolve
I'm just trying to evolve
gunnin for high score in the land of dreams
morbid bluish-white consumers ogling luminous screens
on the trail of forgetting
cruising without a care
the jet set won't abide by that pesky jet lag
and our lives boil down to an hour or two
when someone pulls a camera out of a bag
and I am trying to evolve
I'm just trying to evolve
so I walk like I'm on a mission
cuz that's the way I groove
I got more and more to do
I got less and less to prove
it took me too long to realize
that I don't take good pictures
cuz I have the kind of beauty
that moves
. . .
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what's with that halo
hovering
above that thick skull
serenading
if i do say so
i think you're covering
course there was nothing
could have prepared me
for the side effect
of this dirty drug
the way you punish me
and then you shrug
what's with that phone call baby
it's like you're trying
just trying to crush me
do you feel stronger
each time you push me dear
did you tell your mom
you carpet bombed
before you left here
and is it just the side effect of this
dirty drug
that does each apology (that tempts you to punish me?)
the more i shrug
are you at home now
with your kitty cats
are you just at home now
with the way that you act
do you split the rent there
with all your secrets
or do you just pretend
to all your friends
they're uninvited guests
when you want to tie to me? (hold me tightly??)
can you still dispell me
sweep me neatly under the rug
and does your conscience ever mention
the way that you treat me
or do you just fend it off
with a.....
. . .
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I'll be your biggest fan, I will be your fool
I'll be your exception to every rule
and I ain't the type to bitch
I ain't the type to cry
I'll sit at your red light
and wait for your ship to go by
and this vague little smile is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which I will leave to your discretion
yeah my distraction is my defense against this lack of inspiration
against this slowly deflation
yeah the further the horizon you know the more it warps my gaze
the foreground's out of focus but you know I kinda hope it's
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase
I've been through and through this, I know just how it goes
you'll have no idea, you'll have no need to know
I will make your body grow wings and take flight
I will erase sound, I will erase light
I said this vague little smile is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which I will leave to your discretion
yes my distraction is my defense against this lack of inspiration
against this slowly deflation
yeah the further the horizon the more it warps my gaze
and the foreground's out of focus but you know I kinda hope it's
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase
. . .
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I bet you're wondering if you woke today
just to learn why the caged bird sings
I bet you're wondering if the goddesses are all crazy
or just keeping it interesting
situated slightly outside society
at odds with its odd offerings
I bet you're teetering on the edge of sobriety
just to alleviate a few things
like the fear that you're standing here
because you want to be liked
like you know you need your instrument
but does your instrument need to be mic'd
and you keep imagining that pretty soon
you will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves you from
your fear of being here
here for now, you're here for now, you're here for now
I bet you're looking for the little red 'X'
next to the red arrow and the sign says 'you are here'
I bet you're hoping that your heart will send up the white flag this time
or some sign that the coast is clear
and the moment when your heart jumps in all that's happening
it's like the first time you felt that shock
yes, your heart jumps in all that's happening
and I was right behind the door when you knocked
thinking maybe I'm just standing here
because I want to be liked
yes, I know I need my instrument
but does my instrument need to me mic'd
I keep imagining that pretty soon
I will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves me from
my fear of being here
here for now, I'm here for now, I'm here for now
here for now, I'm here for now, I'm here for now
. . .
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second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
and then the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
no bliss for little miss leading
cuz she's learning about bleeding
but what is love if not exquisite
our only saving grace
or is it?
and somewhere inside your iris
blooms the reflection of my surprise
as you stroll past every last do not enter
and touch me at my epicenter
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
I'm always trying to get there
I never really get there
to that quiet place where
I accept myself
instead I'm deep inside some high school
locker room no clothing
popping the zits of my self loathing
under fluorescent lights
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and you're too ashamed to ask
second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
and you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
waiting for it
. . .
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Pavlov hits me with more bad news every time I answer the phone
so I play and I sing and I just let it ring,
all day when I'm at home
a defacto choice of
macro-microcosmic melancholy
but baby any way you slice it,
I'm thinkin I could just as soon use the time alone
yeah the goons have gone global
and the CEO's are shredding files
and the democrans and the republicrats
are flashing their toothy smiles
and Uncle Tom is posing for a photo-op with the oval office klan
and Uncle Sam is riggin' cockfights in the promised land
and that knife you stuck in my back is still there
it pinches a little when I sigh and moan
and these days I'm thinkin I could just as soon use the time alone
cause all the wrong people have the power of suggestion
and the freedom of the press is meaningless if nobody asks the question
I mean causation by definition is such a complex compilation of factors
that to even try to say why is to oversimplify
that's a far cry, isn't it dear, from acting like you're the only one there
unrepentantly self-centered and unfair
enter all suckers scrambling for the truth
exit mr. eye-contact who took his flirt and flew the coup
but whatever, no matter, no fishin trips, no fishin
cause momma's officially out of commission
and did I mention in there somewhere
did I mention somewhere in there
that I traded Babe Ruth,
yes I traded the only player
that was bigger than the game
and I can't even tell you why,
cause you'd think I'm insane.
and that's the truth
and the music industry mafia is pimping girl power
sniping off sharp-shooter singles from their styrofoam towers,
and hip-hop is tied up in the back room with a logo stuffed in its mouth
cause the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house
but then, I'm getting away from myself
as I get closer and closer home
and the difference between you and me baby
is I get fucked up when I'm alone
and I must admit today
that my inner pessimist seems to have gotten the best of me
we start out sugared up on kool aid and manifest destiny
and then we memorize all the presidents names like little trained monkeys
and we spit into the world so many spinny-eyed TV junkies
incapable of unraveling the military-industrial mystery
pre-emptively passified with history book history
and I've been around the world now and I can see this about America
the mind control is deep here, man
the myopia is steep here, man
and behold those who try to expose the reality
really try to realize democracy
are shot with rubber bullets and gassed off the streets
while the global power brokers are kept clean and discreet
behind a wall
behind a moat
and that is all
that's all
that's all she wrote
and my heart beats an s-s-s o-o-o s-s-s
cause folks just really couldn't care-care-care less-less-less
as long as every day is superbowl sunday
and larger than life women in lingerie are pouting at us from every bus stop
she loves me, she loves me not
she loves me, she loves me not
she loves me, she loves me not
and "big government should not stand between a man and his money"
i mean, "what's good for business is good for the country"
our children still take that lie like communion,
the same old line the Confederacy used on the Union
conjugate liberty into libertarian
and medicated associated with deregulation privitization
we won't even know we're slaves on a corporate plantation
somebody say hallelujah,
somebody say damnation,
cause the profit system follows the path of least resistance
and the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked
makes it serpentine
capitalism is the devil's wet dream
so just give me my Judy garland drugs and let me get back to work
cause the empire state building is the tallest building in New York
and I have always got the feeling
you just like to hear it fall off your tongue
but I remember my name in your mouth
and I don't think I was done hearing it close to my ear
on a whisper's way to a moan
Pavlov hits me with more bad news every time I answer the phone
so I play and I sing and just let it ring,
all day when I'm at home
a defacto choice of
macro-microcosmic melancholy
but baby any way you slice it,
I'm thinkin I could just as soon use the time alone
. . .
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welcome to:
no amount of stoned makes you feel ok
welcome to:
this year's alone - brought to you by Christmas day
welcome to:
the darkness into which prayin people pray
it's quiet here except for this song
now that everybody's gone
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
welcome to:
something like elation when you first open your eyes
just cuz it means
that you musta finally got to sleep last night
welcome to:
the precipice between groundlessness and flight
it's quiet here except for this song
now that everybody's gone
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
besides which
welcome to:
taking the good stuff down off of the shelf
and welcome to:
the art of conversation with yourself
welcome to:
humming an unbroken tune
all day long
yes it's quiet here
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
. . .
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your body
forshortened below your shoulders
your face so close it's out of focus
way down the hallway
comes the sound of your shoes
this is when I think about when I think about you
if we let our love off of it's leash
do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?
your headlights sweepin'
across my ceiling
the breath of my smile
the depth of my feeling
way down in my dark light of shadows
your life with sharp things that glow
this is what I think about when I think about you
if we let our love off of its leash
do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
. . .
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