LL Cool J
"The Bristol Hotel"

[Verse 1]

I know a fat girl, she wears a orange skirt
You give her twenty dollars and you can do work
She'll take food stamps and a traveller's cheque
Because her hair and her face and her life's a wreck
She wears a bright blonde wig, some high heeled pumps
She's down in the dumps so she's sellin' her rump
She's a hot little momma and she works every day
If you wanna pay to play, here's where she stays
She's at the...

[Chorus]

(Bristol Hotel) Room 515
(The Bristol Hotel) Where that at? (Jamaica, Queens!)

[Verse 2]

I seen her standin' there, slutty as could be
Offering the putty for a itty-bitty fee
Every red light she'll come over to your ride
Or she's standin' in the doorway tellin' you to come inside
The Bristol Hotel, cos it ain't no thing
And her meat tastes better than Burger King
Japanese executives in three-piece suits
Glasses all foggy when they come in the place
The girlies in the Bristol, they're all in cahoots
He fell asleep and got robbed, and cold chumped his face at the...

[Repeat chorus]

[Verse 3]

Party people check the story cos the story is ill
It's the story of two men, one Harold, one Bill
They went inside the Bristol on a Saturday night
Harold was cool but Bill felt uptight
The girlies made attempts but Harold played it cool
"Never ever rush, that's the golden rule
I been comin' to the Bristol's ten years of my life
A-yo, what the hell? Yo, man that's my wife!"

(The...)

[Repeat chorus]

[Verse 4]

You see, a Bristol girl is a one of a kind
And if you know her good enough she won't make you stand on line
She'll let you inside, make you pay for the ride
Take off her pants and then it smells like somebody died
You say "What the heck", because you already paid
Not knowin' that the guy that went before you had AIDS
Bang bang boogie, she was so amusin'
Next week you're at the clinic gettin' blood transfusions
At the...

[Repeat chorus]

(The Bristol Hotel) [till fade]