Frank Zappa
"Little Green Rosetta"

Central Scrutinizer:

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . As you can see, MUSIC can get you pretty fucked up . . . Take a tip from Joe, do like he did, hock your imaginary guitar and get a good job . . . Joe did, and he's a happy guy now, on the day shift at the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen, arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully-charged icing anointment utensil. And every time a nice little muffin comes by on the belt, he poots forth . . .

And if this doesn't convince you that MUSIC causes BIG TROUBLE . . . then maybe I should turn off my plastic megaphone and sing the last song on the album in my regular voice . . .

A-hem! Heh heh . . .

A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
You'll make a muffin betta
With a green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A tiny green rosetta

A green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A tiny green rosetta
You'll make a muffin really betta
It's betta
It's really getting betta
It's betta, it's betta
With a green rosetta
Setta, setta
And a green rositti, too

Green rositti
A little green rositti
It's really, really meaty
The little green rositti

Make a muffin really betta
It's betta,
(Hey, really out there . . . that was really good)
It's really getting betta
It's betta, it's betta
With a green rosetta
Setta, setta
(Good God, give the drummer some)
Green rosetta

A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
(Setta, setta, setta,
setta, setta, setta,
setta, setta, setta, setta, setta . . .)
(Make a muffin, make a muffin, make a muffin)
Betta
(Make a muffin betta, make a muffin betta)
With a green rosetta
(Make a muffin betta, make a muffin betta)
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta

(You'll make a muffin betta)
A little green rosetta
(With a green rosetta)
A little green rosetta
(You'll make a muffin betta)
A little green rosetta

Good God! You're really jammin'! Now the Reggae version, hey, for the People in the Third World . . . we haven't forgotten anybody on this song . . . for all of you French people . . . who think that you're outta sight . . . And for the people in Spain . . . who think the French people are where it's at . . . And for the people in Mongolia who always wanted to go to Spain for a vacation . . . And for those of you in Taiwan who got chumped, this chorus is for you: (Rang Tang Ding Dong, I am the Japanese Sandman . . . Take eight . . .)

A green rosetta
(A green rosetta
Green rosetta
A little green rosetta)
A green rosetta
(Against the Reggae beat, though . . .
No, it's still Reggae, but it's all backwards, okay)
A green rosetta
(A little green rosetta)
A green rosetta
(A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta)

You'll make a muffin betta
Little green rosetta
You'll make a muffin betta
Little green rosetta
You'll make a muffin betta
Little green rosetta
Little green rosetta
Little green rosetta
A little green rosetta

Now you see, some places in the Third World it might be difficult to dance to this because the kerosene record player is not a very efficient device . . . And a lot of times they run out of, they run out of spunk right in the middle of the chorus . . . Causing the song to sound like this . . .

A little green rosetta

However we continue in spite of the fact that the fuel may be low on your record player. We suggest that in places in the Fourth World where things are really tough that you keep the record player going by rubbing two sticks together. And if all else fails, throw the record away . . . build your own green rosetta . . . try this recipe: We'll start with a lump of grass . . . the grass bone connected to the ankle bone . . . the knee bone connected to the wishbone . . . and then everybody moves to New York and goes to a party with Warren. Hey!

And we've flown in, at great expense, (triple scale, no less, ladies and gentlemen), Steve Gad's clone to play the out-chorus on this song . . . he's really outasite, in spite of the fact that the click track is totally irrelevant to what he's doing right now. I'm listening to the click, yes I'm suffering with the click track right now . . . this guy is totally out of sync with it, but what the fuck. Ed Mann will call him up later, show him the sign. Okay, Vinnie, where is five?

They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
(The singer is not pretty good, the musicians they're pretty good)
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
But it don't make no difference
If they're good musicians
Because anybody who would buy this record
Doesn't give a fuck if there's good musicians
On it
Because this is a stupid song
AND THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT

A little green rosetta
Hey! A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
You make a muffin betta
With a green rosetta
A little green rosetta
Rosetta, rosetta, rosetta
Rosetta . . . rosetta . . .

Al Malkin:

Zetta . . .